A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I are on two different work schedules so we only see each other for an hour or so a day until the weekend. During the week my husband just watches porn and then thinks that I am supposed to be available for sex all weekend. It makes me feel like porn gets his attention all week and im just his side dish on the weekends when he's bored from watching porn all week. I have confronted him that I feel this way and that I should not have to go all week without. But he just gets really angry and tells me that I am insecure and need to grow up, and if I were confident with myself then I would have no problem with it. Is this just a normal thing for alot of married couples?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2013): No it isnt normal and sex with you is still possible...even if you only have an hour or so a day. So if you are interested in sex and attention during the week but your husband has no time for your needs and prefers watching porn instead, I can see how this will be upsetting for you. It has nothing to do with you needing to grow up. You ARE a grown up. He is the one behaving like a horny adolescent and shutting you down with his anger. He is denying you a normal sex life because of his fascination with porn and that is not normal. Your husband needs to turn off whatever device he is using and start `honouring you with his body`. THAT is what you signed up for and what a grown husband should be doing with his wife.Try asking him if he can give porn a break and turn his attention to you every day...for a change!Apparently if he cant go more than a few days without porn it can be an indication of an addiction. Also his anger might be an indication that he has a problem. There is a site recommended by an excellent Aunt here and the site is called yourbrainonporn. Try Googling it and see if there is any information on the site that can help you with this problem. All the best.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2013): What is it you're upset about exactly? That he watches porn or that he wants to have sex with you a lot on the weekends? What is it you want him to do? You want him to not want sex on the weekends and watch porn then too?
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (8 January 2013):
 "He watches porn all week because you aren't available to have sex with. You said yourself you have differing schedules during the week until the weekend arrives. He probably feels the hour you have together each weekday isn't enough time for sex. In a way, you should take it as a compliment. He "settles" for porn during the week when he can't have you. He would rather have you. Unless he starts ignoring you on the weekends (when you ARE home) to watch porn, you don't need to be concerned."
Hahaha! What a load of bollocks! I'm sorry anonymous female reader, but you haven't a clue and giving out rubbish advice here.
He "settles for porn" all week and then expects sex ALL weekend? This is not normal. I would much rather spend my time intimately with my woman than watching porn.
Yes, men do watch it sometimes. But this is not normal at all.
"You can't help how you feel anymore than he can help getting horny when you're not there."
Your advice is total tosh. He is horny all the time by the sounds of it. The sort of person who will stray.
THIS IS A BIG RED FLAG. And what's more he isn't willing to do anything about it except get angry. He has issues.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2013): You have it backwards. You think he comes to you on weekends only because he's bored with porn from watching it all week, but that's actually the opposite of what's going on. He watches porn all week because you aren't available to have sex with. You said yourself you have differing schedules during the week until the weekend arrives. He probably feels the hour you have together each weekday isn't enough time for sex. In a way, you should take it as a compliment. He "settles" for porn during the week when he can't have you. He would rather have you. Unless he starts ignoring you on the weekends (when you ARE home) to watch porn, you don't need to be concerned. As for feeling insecure, that's a natural feeling for women nowadays. With all the "perfect" (meaning surgically enhanced) women you can find in porn, how is the average woman supposed to be able to look at them, know her partner is getting off to them, and not feel she's coming up short? He shouldn't get angry at you for that. You can't help how you feel anymore than he can help getting horny when you're not there.
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