A
female
age
36-40,
*utchess
writes:Should I leave my husband?My husband and I have been married for 4 years and we have one daughter. First of all I love him very much but it has been getting increasingly difficult to stay. About a year ago he lost his job which made our already rocky situation difficult. As a result of this we lost our home, car everything. We had our daughter that year and even though at first I was our sole income we decided for me to quit my job and move to his hometown. Our deal was to live in his hometown for a year and then in my country for a year and then decide what would be best. I was very hesitant to move to his hometown because I don't get along with his family. They are not nice to me at all. Ever since we got here its gotten worse. It started with us living with his dad. We agreed to split all the bills which was great because we didn't have much to live from. We are at the point now that they decided that we have to pay everything/. Whenever I mention something he loses his control and goes wild. He's never hit me or our daughter but has destroyed a lot of our property. I am all alone here. My family wants me to leave but i don't know. He has changed so much. I believe in for better or worse but it has been worse for so long now that it makes me wonder if this is worth it. I've tried talking to him but he blames me for everything and says that I'm the reason that we fight. I should just be quiet. What should I do?
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female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (26 September 2010):
 And if he lost his job, why isn't he trying to find something else to work? ANYTHING.
These are the moments when you have to be a team, you have to find a solution together. Being angry won't change anything. The fact that he lost his job is not an excuse for his behavior. Unfortunately, most people fail at this test - the difficulties of life should bring you 2 together.
"What should I do?" - You should leave him alone, or be quiet (such as he says). Stop bugging him with these things. If he's responsible and mature enough, he should know that he should budge something in his life.
Listen, if he doesn't want to change anything in his life, if he's just sitting there and hoping for a miracle from above, you're wasting your time. He's frustrated and probably feeling miserable and that's how he's taking it on you. He's placing his bet on your feelings for him and the fact that you're a forgiving & understanding wife. You said he's going wild and violent and hits objects. It's only a matter or time until he'll start hitting you.
Another thing: you already have a child together, but that shouldn't stop you from anything, there are so many couples with children who divorce and they eventually get over it.
Your family is right. You don't have to endure HIM & HIS FAMILY. I don't know the reasons why they don't like you, but they have no right to treat you like cr*p, especially that you're the one holding his family at the moment. They don't seem like a supportive family at all. Honestly, in times like these, you ALL should be a team and find a solution all-together.
Your daughter should grow up in a well balanced family environment, she shouldn't take part at his dad's frustration crisis or seeing you upset. It's not a good influence on her. Think about her at least.
Best wishes!
A
female
reader, SweetindianGirl +, writes (26 September 2010):
i dont know if you have a job, but that surely will help! if you dont have a job, begin to babysit, dogsit something! HELP HIM OUT. he is frustrated, he thinks of himself as a loser, dont leave? for what? if you want just whisper to him and say i havent been feeling well babe, this is what i feel...see wha the says, if his answer is negative, take the kid and go to your moms house for a few until he figures out what it is he needs. its better to do that thent o have lose a chnce forever!
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A
male
reader, paulomiller  +, writes (26 September 2010):
you are really in difficult situation but first you have to question about your feelings for him,,if you do love him still try save your marriage.... I have bad temper too I did the same thing broking my things.. he has anger problem and the first step to him stop with this way ..It's he recognise it .... his anger problem will get worse if he doesn;t have help but it can't come only by you.. he needs professional help and you try be safe Pray to God in name of Jesus to save you both and your little daugther..pray but act too okay God bless you
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