A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello there. Canadian who's been living in Australia for 18 years, married since 2007.For the past few weeks, my husband has been so obsessive and nostalgic over lockdown.It ended here in Australia in October 2021, well, here anyway.I was glad of it. I didn't enjoy it one bit, really. It was certainly NOT the time to enjoy yourself as many people thought.Depressing as I couldn't do my job. But I got paid anyway, like the rest of my co-workers.I've only just returned back to the office as of 18 March 2022.However, my husband could work during lockdown, I couldn't.He returned to work in January, but got fired only last week due to pro-lockdown messages being sent via email and also sending links to an X-rated TikTok video of a woman dancing to co-workers.The emails were sent from his work email (yourname@company.com) and sent to important board members as well.Since then, he's waxing lyrical about wanting to go back into lockdown.Not due to fear of COVID, just the nostalgia for "the good times".I doubt many people would call lockdown good times, in reality. If anything, lockdown was tedious, dull, slow, unfunny.I never enjoyed it at all.He's lost interest in sex. He keeps asking me if we can re-enact the lockdown and plays archive videos from YouTube of our Prime Minister talking about lockdown.For fuck's sake, this is not a LARP, it's people's lives!I think it's very much "be careful what you wish for".I doubt we'll go into another lockdown, but if we do, he'll regret it.Since then, he's tried to get back into lockdown mode, by drinking heavily all day, only going out for shopping and medicine, and won't look for a job.He'll sometimes sit and drink 4 cans of beer and eat cereal non-stop. His hygiene's good, not so much the beer and cereal and watching TV constantly.I'm the main breadwinner, we've got no kids.What's turned the man who was good at DIY and romantic into a lazy man who won't get a job and is nostalgic over lockdown?I actually tried asking him in a heart-to-heart conversation but he got angry and yelled at me:"GOD DAMN YOU! LOCKDOWN LIFE WAS GOOD! WE MUST GO BACK TO LOCKDOWN LIVING!!! YOU ARE BEING A BLOODY ANGRY BITCH THIS ARVO!!!"I've never understood people's nostalgia for lockdown. Maybe I'm a more pragmatic sort of girl who's trying to see things for what they really are, I don't know.It doesn't help that he actually used our shared email to contact the Prime Minister, and then sent a message to the new Prime Minister demanding a lockdown; no reply from them.I saw a copy of it in the draft emails which read:"We the country of Australia MUST HAVE ANOTHER FULL NATIONAL LOCKDOWN. MASKS, SOCIAL DISTANCING, EVERYTHING. WE MUST HAVE A THREE-MONTH ROLLING LOCKDOWN.YOU MUST DO THIS WITHIN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS. WE NEED IT.FUCK THE HATERS.LOCKDOWNS ARE IMPORTANT FOR AUSTRALIA. WE MUST HAVE A THREE-MONTH CONSISTENT ROLLING LOCKDOWN WITH MASKS, SOCIAL DISTANCING, DELIVERY OF TAKEAWAYS CONSTANTLY.IF YOU DON'T DO IT YOU WILL ANGER AUSTRALIA'S PEOPLE.[my husband's name]"Presumably he sent this via the email form on the pm.gov.au site.I'm surprised if he even gets a reply.This is causing the biggest rift in our 15-year marriage.Normally you'd think cheating, sex, finances to be trigger points for arguments. But no, it was lockdowns.I can understand COVID being a big issue for couples.I wouldn't say I'm pro-lockdown, but I'm certainly not anti-lockdown to the point of rioting about it.I think my husband's got a mental problem of some sort but he won't see a psychiatrist about it probably.I'm wondering if I should get him satiation therapy as treatment.For anyone wondering... it's therapy where the person is allowed to indulge in their obsessions until they lose interest in it completely.I believe there was such a thing done in the late 1970s where in the therapy horse-racing addicts were in a setting where people could only talk about horse racing or place bets, and all books/magazines were about horse-racing. Apparently, for 3/5 of the participants, it worked. But there's no actual evidence that proved it does.However, how would you do satiation therapy for a pro-lockdowner like my husband?I'm really concerned about this and worried it's going to cause major issues in our marriage.Isn't this kinda weird?I am getting really stressed and upset and don't know what to do next.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2022): I am a full time private therapist and it is not just a case of how he must want the therapy for it to work, it is also a case of how if he does not want it and seek it it does not happen. You cannot force him to see a psychiatrist or therapist. You cannot decide for him no matter how many people here agree with you. It is only when someone is very violent, self harming etc that you can push the issue and convince the authorities that he must have help whether he wants it or not.
A
female
reader, RitaBrown  +, writes (26 May 2022):
As you said, you suggested to your husband that he seek psychiatric help and he refused. So seeking satiaton therapy for him or any other kind of therapy would be futile.
For therapy to benefit anybody, they have to accept that they have a problem and recognise that they need help. If they don't recognise this, then they won't comply with any therapy.
My suggestion is to leave him to it and get on with your own life without him. Start a new hobby such as amateur dramatics or even musical theatre. Try out for the musical "Hello Trolly".
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