A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi my husband and i have been married for three years we love each other very much we have a 7 months baby girl we were soo happy to have this baby ,After giving birth i feel like my husband has changed.He is so happy about the baby that makes me feel he doesnt care about me anymore . When i talk to him about it he says that im imaginig . Every week end we keep the baby with my mom and go out on a date night . Which always goes well but as soon as we arrive home his attention is back to the baby . He doesnt tell me i love as much anymore.When i come home with baby he opens the door and take the baby ans hugs her and go inside he even forgets to say hi to me , i always talk to him about it and he always says im imagining , and he always tells me that he got tiered from me telling him how much he changed :( What should i do ?! I dont want to talk abou it anymore with him because i dont want him to be fed up Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): Things can shift when a baby is born, she is the apple of her daddies eye as they say, but think about who he loves, someone who you made together.
You are going on date night, you are still spending time as a couple but at the end of the day you are not just a couple anymore you are a family, enjoy that he loves you both.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 I agree with the poster who said a child-centered marriage is an unhealthy thing, and, first and foremost, for the child. However, the one thing that changes here is that now there is another person in the equation, and sometimes that person will be undeniably put first.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): Gamine, i always thought as love as a person instead of an emotion or word.As im typing this, the only thing right now i can think of is that if he loves and gives more attention to your baby, in a way he is to you too. You both made her.So your in there some where.I can understand you feeling unloved or neglected. BUT! He as your husband needs to show his affection to you. Id say make that a point but it seems you've already tried.When you both go out, stall stall stall. Make it so everything seems like time has just slowed down and its you two, just the two of you. Show your passion to him and see where it leads him.Babies need a lot of care. My sister is 1 and knows the mad faces of dont touch that. She knows sign laguage already and can put that into words. What im trying to say is that the two of you need to spend time together as the three of you also. Play tons of games.... it'll evenually tire her out and she'll fall or fight sleep. Then its you and your husband again. I mean would he wake her up?I hope not...He sounds as id he is a very family oriantated man. I find that a good thing. Cause you know he wont just stick her on the floor with toys, he'll be there to play with her too. For now be thankful too. If you feel that you must just tell your self that time will fly and as she gets older he'll turn back to you. Plus, i mean you dont have feel as if your the only one taking care of her.Xoxo
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): A "child centered marriage" is an unhealthy thing. Usually it's the wife who becomes hyper focused on the children and neglects the husband, but in this case it's the opposite.This is unhealthy. a marriage is first and foremost a relationship between husband and wife. A marriage is not a relationship between parent and child. Your marital relationship must come first. because if you neglect your marital relationship, eventually you drift apart as life partners and the only thing keeping you together under the same roof is your mutual love for your child. This is when people come on here posting that their marriage is dead, the only thing they have in common with their spouse is the kids. That they work well together as co-parents but otherwise have nothing in common with their spouse and wonder why they are even still married. If they are really unhappy with the marriage then they will want out of the marriage but "can't" because they have kids. Or worse this is when people fall into affairs because they've long ago stopped being in love with their spouse! This is not a marriage anymore, this is a co-babysitting arrangement and you might as well be separated living your own lives but sharing the child.Therefore don't let your marriage drift that way. A "child centered marriage" is unhealthy. Talk to your husband about this. Let him know why he must make time to focus on your marital relationship no matter how happy he is to be a father, he's also a husband.
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reader, Danielepew +, writes (14 January 2011):
Funny in a way. Many men complain that, once a child is born, all the wife's attention goes to the child. Some men resent that. But, for better or worse, that is the way it has to be. If I were asked to choose between my child and my woman, I would choose my child.
Maybe the point you're trying to make is that you don't want to be neglected. That is right. But, sorry: get used to the idea that now there is someone he is going to care more about.
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female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (14 January 2011):
 This is a stage that most couples go through and I'm sure I'll be going through the same thing when my son or daughter is born. When a baby comes into a relationship, all focus is usually on that baby. Your husband is really excited she is here, but it is also important that he make time for you as a couple so you can keep your relationship alive and thriving.
It could pass on its own and it could not. Usually the husband is the one who suffers from lack of attention because usually the wife is doting on the newborn baby and no longer paying so much attention to the husband.
Check out this website it might help you. If you want to, you could also talk to a health professional about this is your husband isn't willing to see that he needs to make time to ask you how your day is and say hi.
Check out this website. http://factoidz.com/husbandwife-relationship-can-grow-strong-with-new-baby/
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reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 Some times when children come along a lot of the attention are on them and it can be hard for a mother or a father to accept it. But i guess you should just be thankful that he is being a good father to your daughter and that daughter is something that you should both share together.
You are both doing the right thing by going on a date night without having your daughter to worry about, but as a parent i guess he is just worrying about her. The role is actually reversed here this is usually a common complain that a father has after a baby is born.
I guess if you have tried talking to him and it hasnt work then you could take a different approach to it. Be more affectionate to him and every evening when the baby goes to bed spend time together just the both of you, tell him you just want to feel loved again and you are feeling a little neglected.
Goodluck.
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