| A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes: My husband does not want to make any lifestyle changes. Works all day,on his computer,and never does anything else.He is totally inactive,and now impotent due his stress,and luck of exercise . He is not drinking,or smoking,but does nothing to keep active. I find it too early in my age to live in sexless marriage,and even so he is a good provider,he is not giving anything else...Itake care of myself,but if he will not do the same,it is going to be sad and lonely for me. I almost feel guilty seeing him like this. His mental health is also declined,because of his impotence,and most of the time he looks depressed. What can I do in this situation? Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2010): He does sound depressed and like he has given up on himself. I think you need some tough love on the guy. Straight talking - about how his health concerns you and you care deeply and love him but that you are not, as his loving wife, prepared to sit by and let him degenerate. He needs to want to change. I think his impotence could be psychological but obviously overweight etc can affect his abilities. Perhaps you could suggest a health test for both of you - a kind of mini- MOT? Does he have any male friends that you could ask to speak to him more casually? Tell him what your hopes and dreams are as a couple and say that you believe he is part of this - but that things need to change and its not about sex its about health (mental and physical).
A
male
reader, Guitarist  +, writes (13 January 2010):
 I assume you've tried talking to him about this? And if you did but he's still unwilling to change, then all I can say is you have to find a way to make him listen. Tell him that it's affecting you, that you love him and it's hurting you a lot seeing him like this. Surely if he heard that he was hurting you by being like this, it would slap some sense into him?? Also, try and arrange days to go out together, could be anything but don't tell him staright away, cause he may try and talk you out of it. If it's all arranged and set up, he shouldn't be able to say no then. At least it would get him out the house and moving. Just take it one step at a time and try to be patient.
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