A
female
age
41-50,
*issk
writes:i need help.i am 27 with 3 children and another due soon.for the past 2 years i have constantly found my partner on online dating websites looking for women who live around our area.also he when he goes out he chats up other women,takes their numbers and has also tried arranging 2 meet up with them.last year was the worst when i found out he had gone away for the weekend to stay in a caravan with another woman who he works with,when he was supposed to be visiting family.he has said nothing has ever happened with anyone else but i cant believe him as he is always lying and hiding things.i do love him and i am scared of being on my own with 4 children but i dont think i can carry on in this relationship as it is makin me feel very low.am i just bein paranoid and over bearing?desperately need advice on what to do. please help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, missk +, writes (14 March 2009):
missk is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn response to whitemoor5 i would never ever stop the children from seeing their father,no matter what happens between us.He could see them whenever he wanted.
Thankyou very much for the link pepper27 im sure i will find it very useful as my self esteem is definately at an all time low at the moment,thankyou for your kind words i am glad that it is not just me bein paranoid as i was starting to think maybe i was going mad and just being jealous.
Hi ginalolabridga,thankyou for your response and advice. I do have some family around but we are not that close and I dont really talk to them about my relationship,they are all busy with problems in their own lives which is why i am finding it so hard to even imagine being on my own with the children. The only person I would have spoken to about this is my mum who unfortunately passed away a few years ago. I have tried to talk to my partner about what is going on but the only response I get from him is he doesn't know why he does it and he thinks i should trust him more and believe him when he says that he hasn't been unfaithful.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009): What a low-life!
This seems more akin to a soap opera than real life.
Not that I'm trivialising your situation. Far from it.
Your children NEED access to their father; research has shown that fatherhood is important. So regardless of what he's done, give him access to his children, but at set times.
Karma will come around to this other woman too.
If the situation was reversed, he would not like it one bit, so why should he do it?
You need to have a long and serious discussion with him.
The buck stops here, and it lies with you.
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (14 March 2009):
 Hi Hunny
No your not being paranoid and over bearing, Not only should he not be doing this he should take your feeling into account which he certainly is not..You are expecting a child and have 3 to take care of. Instead of going on dating sites and meeting up with other women he should be thinking of you and his family...
This would not make me happy at all and I would wonder why he was with me if he needs this all the time and this is how you must feel hunny..If the person you are supposed to trust and love as your partner is lying this way to you how can you ever believe or trust. I no you are scared of the thought of bringing the children up on your own I was, Mine was a different situation but if you are not happy and constantly questioning yourself because of this then you have to make a decision if you really want to live this way...It must be just horrible, Just at the time you need that extra bit of love and understanding to feel secure, This cannot be helping and that's an understatement.. Im sending you a link for self esteem as yours must be taking a nose dive right now and I imagine has been for sometime...
http://www.womensselfesteem.com/sites.html
No one would want to live this way hunny, I hope that link helps and if you need a chat message me PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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