A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi allplease help me i am hurting and confused. My boyfriend broke up with me and he is planning to marry the mother of his child. Its totally over, but can you please help me with the coping mechanisms coz this is relly hurting me. I know i have let him go but the pain in my heart is so unbearable
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): This will sound hard but you are best rid of him. You will make a new life for yourself. I know it will be hard for you bear at the moment, but all of this will pass and you will meet someone special, just for you, in the future. Don't let this cloud your ideas of men. They are not all the same. He needs to be a dad right now, and rightly or wrongly marrying the baby's mum. You do deserve better and that will happen one day.
Take care
xx
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (16 January 2007):
 Try to think of the child and how is life will be so much better for having two parents in it. Think about how your life might have been/ actually was with only one parent and how much better it was/could have been with two. I know it's hard but you've done a fantastic and honourable thing in letting him go.
CD
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): Oh sweetie, I can understand your pain. Its the most horrible feeling in the world. All i can suggest is to try to surround yourself with friends and family. Have you got a good friend who will sit with you and listen to you pour your heart out? When I feel like this i have a friend who will listen to me repeat the same things again and again and not get annoyed with me. If you feel you can, get out the house and do some exercise, as it releases the happy hormones. I used running as a way of getting out my sadness when my relationship finished. I would cry the entire way round, but found the longer i ran the further away my problems got.
As they say, time is the best healer, and you just have to sit this out. Maybe also you could try increasing your self esteem and confidence too if you feel like this has knocked you sideways. I dont have any real answers, i just wanted to say I know how much it hurts. I hope you start to feel happier soon. x
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A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (16 January 2007):
I am reall sorry for your loss. One way to possibly diminish the pain, is to understand the difference between loving him and having to have him, or be with him, or desiring him. In our lives, we meet and love many people. Some of them stay in our lives for a long time. Some of them are only with us for a short while. With all of them, it is important to recognise that the love shared is the important thing, and that whatever time we have with them is a gift. You have had a man in your life, and it has been a gift. Don't let a gift ruin your life, or prevent other people from sharing future gifts with you. That is not the true nature of love. The true nature of love is so grateful to have had the chance to love. It is also natural to mourn the loss of that gift, and you should allow yourself to feel loss, and grief, for a time. But don't choose to let that go on for too long, it is not necessary, and you will see why when you remind yourself that gratitude and thanks are the true response to having loved. Give yourself time to heal, and when you are ready, show your love to your family, your friends, and eventually, someone else who wants your love, and wants to return it.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, ingotblue +, writes (16 January 2007):
 Different people deal with things differently.
I think you need to stop dwelling, decide that you arent going to be broken by this man and get angry, when you get angry channel it in to doing something productive, maybe a college course, a new hobby, making your life better for you.
He wasnt the one for you but dont let it make you second guess men in general, no one person is alike.
there are some idiots out there, but not every one is.
Good luck
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