A
female
age
30-35,
*ure4life
writes:Today I went to a coffee shop and ordered myself something to drink. While I was about to leave the shop, I walked by a group of guys and they were looking at me and laughing at me. I heard one of the guys said, "did you see that girl?" "Did you get it?" Then they continued to laugh at me. In addition, this same incident happened to me at the airport by a different group of guys. I heard again, "did you see that girl?" Then they continued to laugh as I walked by them. Since these incidents happen, they made me feel very sad and it makes me to not want to go out anymore. Later when I got home I cried. Why do these guys do this to me? I think guys do this to me because they think I am ugly. Why can't guys just leave me alone and look at other women. I did not do anything wrong to them. I was minding my own business. I never wear revealing clothes. I always dress casually and appropriately and I wear light makeup. Please help me. Why do I get this type of behavior by guys? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (27 February 2014):
 Who cares what idiots may eructate ? Would you mind a dog barking at you ? Don't let any simple minded people create any complex in you. Moreover, when a stupid one tells nonsense, it's easy to understand that the truth is the opposite. I don't mean you look like a pinup as we - alas - don't have any image on Dear Cupid to be sure of that, but you are definitively not what that bunch of moron told you.Side remark: it's obviously very difficult, if not impossible, to see oneself as our point of view is never the good one (usually the high angle view, which causes so many worries to men unsure of the size of their "tool") besides, we just know ourselves through a mirror, it's to say in a reversed image. If you really want to know who you are physically, the best is to shoot yourself with a camera pointed toward your sternum, the camera being some meters away (5 or even 10 meters if possible, in order to avoid the wide-angle lens effect).1) it's important to know that you will look far bigger than you are in the real world. Pro photographers and art directors are used to say that the conversion from the "3D you" to the "2D you" adds you 12kg (distributed on every part of your visible body).2) be careful to the lighting. You'd better shoot yourself with a soft and homogeneous light in order to avoid odd shades that could lead you to think your body has incongruous shapes.3) Next, take some pictures of your face displaying a wide range of expressions. The most important one obviously is the smiling one. If you find it fake or not attracting enough, work on it. In any case, smile a lot, and your life will be way different.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2014): I think you think these things and actually mistaking what you are seeing or hearning, sometimes words can have two meanings. I would say that they were not laughing at you because you are ugly ( which I am sure you are not). Although sadly some people do come out with horrible loud comments and ruin peoples lives ( only because thet BELIEVE what they want to believe. You need to renforce your own belief systems and KNOW BELIEVE that you are an attractive young woman.
People are people and we always here bad things or think we did.
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A
female
reader, pure4life +, writes (25 February 2014):
pure4life is verified as being by the original poster of the question I was not being paranoid. I saw what I saw and heard what I heard. I did not misunderstand them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2014): Sometimes people are jealous or spiteful and want to break your confidence. I think the only thing you can do is remember that we will never be attractive to every person and the people who make these types of comments do so because they are losers and not the kind of people we should give a second thought about.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 February 2014):
 You assumed the meant you.. it could have been a girl on their phone.
Because YOU think you are ugly you assume everyone else thinks you are too.. it's what YOU bring to the table that's affecting how you feel.
AND, even if they WERE commenting about YOU.. they are total strangers so who cares what they think?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2014): Its really hard for me to imagine that unless there is something really weird in your appearance that would trigger the reaction,. It might not be nessesesary ugly, but unusual. I give you couple examples. When I was a teen, I was very skinny, 112lb with size C boobs. They looked huge on my tiny body. I got comments like this from guys all the time. They stopped when I had my child and the Rest of my body kind of caught up with my boobs. When I went to a country where most population has darker skin and dark hair, I was stared at on a streets and hit on by guys because I am red hair with very light skin. There must be something in you that triggers those comments, and when they laugh it doesn't mean also they are laughing at you. Many times laugh is a sign of shyness or nervousness. Even if someone is not pretty at all, he/she wouldn't attract attention only based on this fact. Many people, I can say, majority are not beatifull, many are not attractive or are very plain looking, it doesn't mean that they hear comments like this. Mostly likely they just won't be noticed. Beauty is rare, that's why when we see someone really beautiful we stare, because it's unussual. Ugliness needs to be close to deformity for people to notice. Unless you have a prominent something in your body that catches and eye, you are fine. And these comments, who know what they were, sometimes we think people talk about us and in fact they are not.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (24 February 2014):
 If these comments followed you everywhere you went by every male and female, then I would say you have a problem. The only problem right now is you, and how you think of yourself. All they said was “Did you see that girl?” and you took that comment down low self-esteem road. Bet if the guys made comments about your boobs, butt, or something else, you would be upset as well.Fact is…we live in a world where people judge others before they judge themselves, and we think bad of ourselves before others do it for us. Even if someone said you were the most beautiful woman ever, you would still find some fault with yourself. You do not need people’s good comments to live your life, or to be happy, even to have good self-esteem. And no one has ever died because someone said something bad about them.Love yourself and the people around you. When people hate you, and say bad things about…feel sorry for them. Because hateful judgmental people are truly ugly.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 February 2014):
 I agree with CMMP , it must be a misunderstanding or your imagination or the fact that you have a negative self perception which makes you think any laughs you hear are about you .
Sure, people can be inconsiderate and rude , at times - they may make fun of something that looks " different " to them, like , say, a 300 pounds lady, or an immigrant in Muslim garb, when actually there is not anything to laugh.
But, since the world is full of imperfect looking, moderately attractive, or even definitely unattractive people, in fact all in all they are the majority and that's why physical beauty gets so much attention, even if you aren't a beauty queen, there was no reason for them to even notice you.
You dress casually and appropriately, you wear light make up, you don't do or wear anything weird in public ( say, like a Hamish costume ). You don't mention anything extraordinary about yourself , like having a beard on your chin or being a midget( which of course it would not be your fault, and nobody should make fun of, but, it is what it is, it would draw attention on you )- so why even if you aren't a model type , they should be laughing at you ? and OFTEN ?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (24 February 2014):
I agree with CMMP , it must be a misunderstanding or your imagination or the fact that you have a negative self perception which makes you think any laughs you hear are about you .
Sure, people can be inconsiderate and rude , at times - they may make fun of something that looks " different " to them, like , say, a 300 pounds lady, or an immigrant in Muslim garb, when actually there is not anything to laugh.
But, since the world is full of imperfect looking, moderately attractive, or even definitely unattractive people, in fact all in all they are the majority and that's why physical beauty gets so much attention, even if you aren't a beauty queen, there was no reason for them to even notice you.
You dress casually and appropriately, you wear light make up, you don't do or wear anything weird in public ( say, like a Hamish costume ). You don't mention anything extraordinary about yourself , like having a beard on your chin or being a midget( which of course it would not be your fault, and nobody should make fun of, but, it is what it is, it would draw attention on you )- so why even if you aren't a model type , they should be laughing at you ? and OFTEN ?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 February 2014):
 You need to learn not to give a shit. Its' that simple. THESE are strangers, WHO cares what they think?!
They are not only strangers but rude, thoughtless, malicious and petty strangers. Again WHY care what people like that think? They think making fun of someone is OK. You know how SOME people are in groups. Don't let it affect you.
I would just look at whomever said anything, up and down and then shake my head. That might make him feel a little shocked. It might make him realize that he WAS speaking loud enough for you to hear. And it will make him realize YOU don't GIVE A flying F. And you don't find him interesting AT all.
Come on girl, don't let random idiots ruin your day.
PS I doubt it was because you are ugly.
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A
male
reader, devont  +, writes (24 February 2014):
 I agree with the other poster, I really cannot imagine that either of these groups of guys were talking about you... Especially the 'did you get it' comment, that doesn't make sense to me. I do not think they were laughing about you, I think you have completely misinterpreted this situation. You say 'Why can't guys just leave me alone and look at other women' ... they do. I have seen men outright ignore 'unattractive' women, they are not even on their radar. I have not seen a group of guys comment on a girl that was unattractive to say 'look at her'... Unless there was something extreme about her, like wearing extravagant clothes. Those guys were not talking about you. If they were, they've not said anything derogatory really. People are wonderfully self absorbed, they are much more concerned with themselves than you.I think you should maybe talk to someone about how you feel, there's being self conscious and then there's being paranoid. Hold your head high and work on improving your self esteem.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2014): When you say "I think guys do this because they think I'm ugly" why do you think this? Do YOU think that you are 'ugly'?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2014): Because sometimes guys can be insensitive jerks! It makes them feel big and powerful to hurt others, and I am sure you are not the only one they have done it to. You sound like a really nice person with a good heart. You were just minding your business and you did nothing wrong. I use to think that too because I had suffered from anxiety and paranoia, thinking they must be staring at me because I am ugly. But I turned it all around on them when I became more confident within myself. I enhanced my looks and I look people in the eye. It's hard though when you are alone andhave to deal with that kind of harassment. No one has the right to harass you or anyone else. I suggest that you talk to someone close to you a friend or a family member. I have been in counseling and it really helps. They also have places women can go to like health spas and they give you tips on enhancing your looks and being confident. I hope I have helped in some way. It doesn't matter what they think of you. What matters is what you think of yourself. They are immature and mean. They will get it back one day.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (24 February 2014):
Uhhhh.... I'm confused by this... I've seen countless "ugly" people and never seen grown men laughing at them. I can't even imagine it.
Is there something odd about you in particular? Crazy haircut? Huge boobs/butt?
Is it possible that they were talking about something else and you misunderstood them?
I just don't know why you'd experience this unless there was something you were doing on purpose to stand out.
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