A
female
age
30-35,
*_Corbi8
writes:I’m twenty year-old college student whom ‘came out’ as gay last October. Initially, I felt great about this as I could finally talk honestly with my friends and be myself. However, as the months drag on and I still haven’t met any girl I like and I’m starting to feel a bit hopeless about ever meeting anyone.My college has an LGBT society but they do nothing so it might as well not be there. There’s one gay bar near where I live which I went to with one of my friends last week. The place was dead. They don’t host many events there either so that was kind of a no-go. This has left me feeling pretty disappointed as I don’t know where to turn now to meet girls.I play soccer in college and there are a couple of girls there that I know are gay/bi. I have considered asking them about all of this, hoping that they could introduce me to some of their friends or something. However, we’ve finished up our soccer now for the college year and they’re not around the college anymore because they’re on work placements. Well, I said above that I "haven't met any girl I like" - that isn't exactly true. There is a girl from my hometown that was very flirty with me on a night out couple of months before I came out. But I was too shy and uncomfortable at the time to reciprocate. I only know her through a couple of mutual friends and I only ever see her on nights out at home - which I don't really go out there during the college year. However, a couple of my friends from home invited me out last Sunday night, but then they cancelled less than half an hour before we were due to meet. I was disappointed (again) because I had hoped that I'd see this girl out that night, but I never even got the chance to go out - another dead-end it seems.I am starting to feel really impatient about this because in over four months I still haven’t made any progress, and now it seems that every avenue I try is just another dead-end. Overall, I really feel like I’m missing out on my life. It feels as if I'm not experiencing the things that everyone around me seems to be. It's like I'm waiting around for something to happen while knowing that it never will if I keep just waiting around. This all obviously has a knock-on affect on my mood, which, as you can imagine, isn't great! I've had a couple of arguments with a couple of my close friends because I'm pretty much always in a bad mood lately. That isn't really fair on them either, so I need help... HELP! - oh and sorry for rambling a bit, just trying to give a comprehensive view of things. All help is appreciated!
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 February 2014):
 Congrats on coming out,just remember coming out is ONLY the beginning. And it doesn't come with a gift wrapped mate.
If the college has a LGBT group, why don't YOU try and arrange something (event) YOU would like to participate in? Talk to whomever leads it and give some input/ideas. Take some initiative.
I would try and get a hold of one of the girls from the soccer team, if you know any of them just a little, ask for input.
Just like anyone of ANY sexual persuasion can't just sit at home and wish for a partner, you ACTIVELY have to put yourself OUT there. Socialize, met new people, don't focus on gays only - straight people have gays friends and family members too .
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