A
female
age
51-59,
*non40
writes:After a weeks break from my boyfriend, we have now decided to part. The break-up was doing neither of us any good, and was actually tearing us both apart.But i now feel so lost and empty.Ive lost a considerable amount of wight and finding it difficult to sleep. We didnt live together and lived a distance apart, but i cannot seem to stop crying...although it was mainly my decision for the break in the first place.Although i knew i loved him -i wasnt sure if i was "in Love" with him, and this was making the time we had together so difficult.Why do i feel this way.? How will i know that i have made the right decision, and hurting him for nothing??? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (3 August 2008):
 Excellent advice from Dearkelja. I don't think that can be improved. I can only say that you need to take your chances all the time, right or wrong, and carry on.
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (3 August 2008):
 Sometimes answers don't come to us in black and white. They come to us in gut feelings and inner voices. But we have to listen to them and do what we feel is the right thing.
There are no road maps for our lives and thus, no wrong turns. You've made a decision based on something you felt. I think if you had stayed those feelings would be keeping you up at night too. Stop second guessing what you did. You did what you felt you had to do and now you need to accept that decision and move forward. Crying is a part of healing. It's your body's way of dealing with stress. Maybe if you stop focusing on thinking you made a mistake and try telling yourself that you have saved both yourself and the guy a lot of misery by cutting things off now and allowing you both to find someone new who feels more right.
When we enter into relationships we run the risk of being hurt. People change, things happen and there are no guarantees of forever. Being honest is actually quite honorable. How do you think the guy would feel if you continued to prolong the agony with him by going through the motions. He would know and that would hurt worse.
Know you did what you did because it was the right thing to do at the time. Move forward, take care of yourself. Force yourself to eat if you have to and drink lots of water.
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