A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really like this guy who basically just used me for sex. I wanted to date him but he saw our relationship as "friends with benefits" He said he cared about me and I think he kinda did, he just didnt want a relationship. He did boyfriend stuff with me like cuddling, talking a lot, telling me i was "cool", "fun", "beautiful" and he stayed after I thought I was pregnant. I now want to end it with him cause I know it will only get worse for me,so if he calls, i will just completely ignore him. Im just wondering how will he feel if I flat out ignore him? Will he be mad that he's not getting any more sex? Will he be sad? Or will he just not care? he's 23 by the way. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (27 July 2008):
 He won't be mad or sad by not having sex with you. He will most probably move on and find another willing partner.I think you should move on and find a guy who wants you and not just your body. Jerks like him are a dime a dozen.Good luck Hun x.
A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (27 July 2008):
 Hi darling I agree with Lotus move on and try to meet new people and be happy
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A
male
reader, agonyunclechris +, writes (27 July 2008):
 hey.
firstly how can you like a guy who is using you as a thing? well sex between a couple creates a chemical bond, sort of like the emotional version of marriage. wether you want it to or not, this is what usually happens. So if you have this bond then probably he has it too. he was going to stick by you when you was pregnant? does this mean he does actually love you, but he also loves the other girls he has these bonds with? if he has ties with other people then obviously you dont want to be with he. as you have said you are going to cut him off. well i think cutting him off anf ignoring him completely wont be healthy, and he will feel confused anoyed and desperate, also you may feel it if you have this ,'sex marriage bond'. the best thing to do is tell him how you feel.you said he talks to you, like boyfriend stuff? so tell him your not going to be one of his many sex toys anymore. and talk about it, let him have his say so he doesnt feel like he has just been smacked in the face, but take control, dont let him persuade you, afterall he is using you for sex and this is not acceptable. take care x
love and light
chris
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A
female
reader, AskSusie  +, writes (27 July 2008):
Anonymous, This guy is just not into you. It doesn't matter about what he says - actions speak louder than words. The fact you had to actually come online to ask people about this must account for something.
Trust me when I say, there is a man out there for you and it isn't this one.
Love should never be hard.
AskSusie
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (27 July 2008):
 I can only speak in "opinion" terms here, so here it goes. I'm guessing he has a couple of girls like you. He won't commit to one because that would mean he would have to cutoff the other ladies. You are being used, and it is a good thing you are considering cutting him off. Your question is, how will he react to this? I am amazed that you care so much about his feelings when it seems he clearly has no care for yours. I'm sure you two are good friends, so maybe instead of ignoring him, tell him you want to establish a new relationship with him that consist of being only friends. Tell him you need a little space from him in order to create this new found friendship. I have been in this situation, it was hard on me as I (at the time) really had strong feelings for him. He used me, and I figured maybe I could stick it out and show him how much I felt for him, and maybe he would want to commit to me. It never happened. He started to use me for money as well as sex. I finally left, because I knew it wasnt going anywhere, and it was beginning to effect my self esteem. I lost all respect for him even as a friend once I found out that I wasnt the only one he was sleeping with. Once I left, and found someone more handsome, more loving and sweet, and more down to earth, he started calling me telling me he missed me and loved me and wanted me to come back. I refused, and I am much happier without him. I think you too will be happier without this guy, in time. All those moments you wasted trying to create a healthy relationship with him, you could have spent meeting new people and dating;)
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (27 July 2008):
I had the same problem kind of situation with one guy. If you start ignoring him he may start to pursue you even more but after you ignore him several times he'll probably get the hint. Depending on what his feelings are, he may be sad or he may just not care depending on what they are. I would just say to not get into the whole "friends with benefits" deal in the future because after a while you start growing some form of attachment even though you try not to. Hope this helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2008): He may have all of the symptums you typed...but I'm sure the #1 problem is that your not having sex with this jerk...but don't worry...you deserve soo very much more, and you shouldn't worry whaat this creep is thinkng. I think that you are very wise to keep your distance from this guy. Please know that I will pray for your streangth. Lots of luck Sweet Pea!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2008): You can test him by stop having sex.
His action will give you answer. If he used you for sex, you should move on.
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