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male
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anonymous
writes: Have been with my wife of 10 years for 11 years and have a 9 year old son.Have come to realise recently that I no longer love my wife i've just got the feeling that i am going along with the pretense because it's easier. I have met a girl at work who I am deeply attracted to but even before this I have thought about leaving my wife but dont know how and how will this affect my son?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2007): you cannot live your wife just for another the bible talks about commiting adultery. you have to be so careful who you married because every boby is different.not because a person is all pretty who have to date them. know their character and see if this person really love jesus and really love you.if you break up this relationship just for another person, yes your son will be affected. he will go up with lots of emtional problem in school and in enviroment that he really donot what to be in. be very careful what you do. your family is more important to you than a pretty face thats not all in a person.if there is any problem in your marriage get counseling and try to save your marriage just for your son.someone personality is very important in a relationship. be very careful with your decision before going into another relationship with another person.
A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (4 September 2006):
 Wow, your mid-life crisis is in full bloom.
That pretty young thing you want to bed won't fill the gap that is missing in your life. A harem of pretty young things won't fill that gap.
Chasing skirts will cause immense hurt to your family. Is there some way to resolve your mid-life crisis without hurting your child and wife? Can you choose options that will allow you to look yourself in the mirror?
My God man, grow up and live up to your responsibilities so that your son can be proud of you.
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female
reader, Barb1975 +, writes (4 September 2006):
I can tell you from personal experience it will be very tough on your son. My parents were divorced when I was 10. My mother got custody of myself and my brother, she could not afford our family home so we moved 2 towns over.I felt as though I lost everything. I lost my father, my mother (she had to take 2 jobs to make ends meet), my home, and my friends. When my parents were married I enjoyed a upper middle class lifestyle, after the divorce I had to adjust to a low income lifestyle. My father enjoyed filet migion while my brother and I had mac and cheese. Today I am 30 years old with a child of my own, to this day I hate my father for doing this to me and my brother. He too left my mother to pursue another relationship. If you decide that you cannot stay in your marriage a few things to keep in mind to minimize the impact on your son is to let her have the house (if you own one) so your son doesn't have to adjust to a new home, new room, new school, new friends and so on. Work out a visitation schedule that works for your son. If he can't do activities because he has to spend time with his dad, he might grow resentful of your visitation. Also make sure that his mother has the resources she needs to maintain his lifestyle. If handled right, your son will not grow up to be resentful and to hate you. If you maintain a good relationship with his mother and work out what is best for your son, not for you, it will minimize the impact. But even if everything goes smooth and you both put your son first, there will still be issues that will come up with your son. His self esteem will suffer, he will always wonder if it was his fault and so on. So you might also want to consider getting a therapist for your son (you and your wife should partisipate in some sessions). This will give you a heads up as to any issues before they become problems.I wish you the best for your son.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (2 September 2006):
 If you are absolutely positive you want out of your marriage then you need to sit down with your wife and talk about it. Make sure you do this out of earshot of your son. The both of you will have to tell him eventually but it needs to be done as positively and calmly as possible. Make sure both of you have thought all the details out before you talk to him so he will feel the situation is totally under control. Count on his being very unhappy about it. Forget about the other woman, right now you owe it to your wife and son to focus on their needs in this break up. Once the dust settles you there will be lots of time to purse another relstionship. Try to be a class act. I hope you know what you are giving up and are totally sure about this. It's going to cause a lot of pain. Good luck.
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female
reader, kristinp +, writes (2 September 2006):
It will probaly hurt but if yall fight alot then it is probaly hurting more and you have to think of your wife it is not nice to keep her in the dark.Pluse if you are going to divorce her divorse her then do it now why he is still young where he can adjust not when he is a teen or anything
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female
reader, xxcat +, writes (1 September 2006):
 It will hurt your son at first as mum and dad are not together any more and he probly wont see you daily like hes used to, as long as you and your wife can stay friends if not then at least not fight infront of him, and reasure him thats it nought to do with him show him loads of love. but please remember that buying him thimgs is not answer but to do things together.But i dont think people can/should stay together just for a child. Hope it goes well for u all
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male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (1 September 2006):
 A pretty skirt comes along and you're contemplating dumping your wife, along with your son? It seems like the opportune time, huh? I'd say your wife and son would probably better off without you. She might meet someone that actually cares for her, and your son might have a real man for a father.
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A
female
reader, karenw61 +, writes (1 September 2006):
how do you think this will affect your son?????????you and your wife are his world his soft place to fall were he feels safe. take this away with out careful consideration ,for some one you think you may like and your son may pay the price. if you no longer feel any thing for your wife thats fine people fall out of love all the time its the way you go about that will make the difference in the end
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