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female
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*ayellen
writes: Dear cupid,My husband left me and the children last week for another woman who is 20 years younger than me his excuse was he did not love me anymore. I had no warning this was to happen he took all his things this week he came to see the children who are 14 15 17 he told them he could not come home the boys are deverstated and only the eldest will talk to him. I looked in the car boot and all his things are still in the car boot why is he doing this to us what can I do he says I must sell the house and down size as he cant run 2 homes what is going on he will not talk to me why after 23 years is he doing this to me I just dont understand
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2006): I am a single mother with three children as well you will become mentally physically financally and emotionally stronger get there as quick as you can do not look back not for one second be proud of who you and your children become make him regret it everybody wants what they can't have, make sure he Knows that.
A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (1 September 2006):
 What a horrible situation - I'm sorry this happened to you.
Change the locks and get the best divorce lawyer you can afford - better yet have the lawyer sue your husband to cover your legal fees if you can. At best your jerk of a husband needs to be taught a lesson. At worst you need to ensure that your kids are looked after (at least financially).
At this time, the well-being of you and your kids is paramount. Your kids need to be reassured for the foreseeable future that none of this was their fault and that they are not responsible for their father's irresponsible actions. Regardless, they are going to take this very very hard and they will be looking to you as their rock.
Now is also the time to lean on your support system - friends and relatives. Do not allow your guilt, shame, or pride to isolate your family from the very support system that will get you through this bad time.
Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, dolly peg +, writes (1 September 2006):
im so sorry to hear what your husband has done to you!he sounds like a total pratt,as the others have said,he,ll come running back one day,and you will be a much stronger person for this!seek legal advice asap,as he cant force you out the home while you still have school age children.and remember things happen for a reason,maybe you will meet someone else can you totally trust and adore.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (1 September 2006):
 What an absolute jerk. On your way home from the lawyer's stop by the hardware store and pick up some new locks for your doors. When you look back on this in the future you may just consider this to be a very fortunate turn of events after all. Best of luck to you and soak the ass for every cent you can.
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A
female
reader, jn +, writes (1 September 2006):
 Betrayal is the hardest thing in the world to get over. It's not your fault he wanted to run off on you and your children, It doesn't matter if the woman is 20 years younger than you, it's still wrong. It just hurts more to think about her age. Look at it this way, he may be with a woman that is younger, but you are wiser and you know all his flaws, is a woman that young going to be truly interested in him? Soon it will all backfire and he will TRY to come running back to you. When he tries, remember how you feel now. He is selfish for this action, he should have been honest and he should have remembered his wedding vows.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (1 September 2006):
 I agree with Snowbird. Seek legal advice. It sounds like he's going through a middle-age crisis. . . a younger woman to make him feel younger. He may think twice if he realizes it's going to cost him half of everything he owns to walk out. He may not look so appealing to his new flame when he's been "downsized". Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2006): Why???because he's a selfish prick and thinking with his...this is unfortunately very common in men. Sweetheart get legal advice...and when he drags his pathetic sad arse back to you (which he eventually will) have enough self resepct to send him away
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A
female
reader, snowbird +, writes (1 September 2006):
 HOLD ON!!!
He has ABSOLUTELY NO right to tell you to move out and sell your home - get legal advice ASAP - As long as the children are dependants they have a right - as you do - to stay in the home..any divorce court will tell you that!
You are also entitled to maintainance, and half of EVERYTHING - so get yourself down to citizen's advice right away to get all the info as to what to do.
What a heartless man, to treat you and your children like this after all those years without any warning - the sooner you get this sorted out the better and you can then move on with your life. Good luck, and when he comes crawling back, as I suspect he will, remember the way he has treated you! Stay strong, you will be fine..
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