A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im a boy aged 19.the three past years.i fall in deep love with a certain beatifull girl.we have been together and still loving each until today.the way i love this girl is incotrolable because i have passed a lot of problems which might end up our relationship.now the problems is that am jelousy of my girl.am afraid someone may came and marry my girl.there is a say in english which say 'dont trust girls.however.my father also told me about the same quote.then am puzzled because i dont no how i can win and marry this girl.my dad told me that the only way is to impregnate her so that no one will want her but me.then i feel pathetic to do it.this is so because she is a student and wise for that matter.then am desperate because i dont no how i can win this beautiful girl to be mine forever. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Madalo 1 +, writes (13 April 2013):
Why are you afraid? Is your relationship not working? But basically you cant force her to be with you. Let her decide that herself. Whether in the end its in your favor or not, life goes on. Dont be so obsessed with this. Like previous posters suggested, improve yourself. Get educated, get a job, be independent. If you'll end up with her, then great. If you dont, its ok. Like they say, there's always somebody for someone.
A
female
reader, MsSadie  +, writes (12 April 2013):
 Cerberus, as always, said it best.
There is no definitive way to make someone yours forever. Perhaps the dynamic of coupling is different in your culture, but here in the USA I'd say that the longest lasting (and healthy) relationships are those with two solid, well-rounded people. You can make yourself a solid, well-rounded gentleman by following Cerberus' advise.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2013): Sounds like there may be cultural issues at play here. 30-40-50 years ago this is how it was done. There were arranged marriages, men and women would seek to have children so as to trap one another. Being together and being happy together are two different things. I don't know how things are in Malawi, but where I come from it is best if people are 100% honest (which they are not) with both themselves and each other. This way the relationship flows and grows naturally instead of having to force various issues that create constant tension, lead to fights, divorce and unhappiness.So, your father's advice will work only if she is the type of girl who expects to get married, have children and that's it. If she has embraced the newer ways, a relationship based strictly on pregnancy will probably not end well.Cerberus answered provided the exact path that I would follow but there is one thing that you MUST realize: You may do all those things and she may still go with someone else. There is nothing wrong with that other than the fact that you will be very, very hurt. Don't put yourself in this situation. Be who you are, do the best you can and DO NOT force a relationship. Find someone who wants to be with you for who you are.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2013): No don't impregnate her OP, it doesn't feel right to you because you know it's not fair.
A far better way is to have a good job, after a good education and a nice home in which you can raise a family.
If you at least work towards those things then you have a far better chance of winning her over forever. You have to be the type of man that any woman would like to have as husband.
A good husband who can provide a home, money, safety but also one she can trust to protect her, who will treat her honourably (impregnating her is not honourable), who will make her happy, who will love her, always respect her and who will never abuse her.
Become that man, or at least start working towards being that man and that is by far your best chance of having her as your wife.
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