A
female
age
30-35,
*uniliarpop
writes:Hi guys, so here's the deal: My boyfriend hates when I'm... "gay" with him. Ok first off I'm a girl, and the word "gay" is how he describes it. I tell him I love him and I hug him lots and kiss him lots and want him all to myself sometimes- I'm just very affectionate!~ I'm grateful he's in my life... I know he loves me and I know he doesn't try to be a jerk when he says it, but it still bothers me. I wish to learn how to be less affectionate towards him; I've tried just not saying or doing these things so much, but lol he's just the greatest... sigh I really do need help -_- Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2012): Lots of guys feel weird when their GF does too much of that stuff in public. Maybe that is what's bothering him.
I'm all lovey-dovey with my GF sometimes, especially in private. But she wants to hold my hand every second we are in public. It gets annoying & awkward to walk around like that. I am not embarrassed to be her BF but I am just more of a grownup about it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2012): Sounds to me like he's the gay one. Does he want a grlfriend who tells him I love you and who's affectionate or does he want a boyfriend who he can consider "one of the guy's"? Really him asking you to stop being gay with him makes no sense. Leave his ass and find a guy you can be yourself with, and let him date one of his guy friends.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (3 July 2012):
 If he doesn't like being affectionate and you do...you need to find yourself a new man. I have been in this situation and it will only get worse. Being affectionate is not "gay" either. It what people do when they like/love one another. I would tell him that you are sorry, but you have to have affection in a relationship so you don't think it will work out with the two of you.
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A
male
reader, Nehemie Mb  +, writes (3 July 2012):
Lol, interesting! Well, people who commented before me said some really great stuff, so I'll just add a little thing in support to what they said.
You love him so much uh? Lol, there's nothing wrong with you if you wanna hug him lots or kiss him lots, you're just in love, that's what it is. And somehow that comes with an array of behaviors you can't help! (Like thinking about him, being lovey dovey, etc)
BUT, if you hug somebody long enough and strong enough you can throttle them to death. Now you don't want that do you? This simile applies exactly in your case. When we guys have somebody that truly loves us and isn't afraid to show it, we tend to get a little scared and since we can't do the same thing easily, we think there's something wrong with that person, however, really it's something that's wrong with us guys. We have a hard time getting emotional, well...that's what we've learned when we grew up anyway: "Be tough, you're the man".
So give him sometime to catch up to where you are, and I think you guys will be just fine. However, only be lovey-dovey when it's most appropriate, like when you two are alone. So, good luck, and have fun hugging him, but make sure he can breathe through the hug, lol :) Cheers!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2012): There is nothing wrong with being affectionate. Too much affection can drive someone away though because the person probably senses some sort of "I'm very clingy and needy and can't stand to be without you" vibe. I am not saying you are "clingy" but a lot of guys feel awkward or uncomfortable when a lady is devoting too much attention on them.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 July 2012):
 I really don't think you need help at all. It is good to be affectionate and you cannot help who you are. It just seems you both are very different, you like to be affectionate while he doesn't. Describing your affection as being gay is quite immature and am not sure if he is ready for a committed relationship.
However if he treats you well and he wants to be with you and you are happy well then that is the main thing. Does he show you any affection at all? It can be hard to change who you are in a relationship, so your best bet is to talk to him about how you feel, tell him why you are so affectionate and ask him why he has a problem with it. If he gets embarrassed by public affection then just leave it until you are both alone to express your feelings.
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