A
female
age
41-50,
*alahiel
writes:Hi, I know this is not a relationship question or even a question but right now my world is just in ruins. I have decided to euthanize my baby cat. He was very sick and I did not have the money to make him better. I feel so guilty. I stayed with him till the end, when he fell asleep and then went still in my arms. He was so special and meant the world to me. He'd follow me around, talk to me all the time and even slept on me when i was sleeeping. I feel so much pain right now. I can't stop crying and don't know how to fill the void in my heart. I guess i just want people to talk about some of their experiences and maybe help me through this time of grief. thank you in advance R.I.P. Romeo my lovely kitty, you'll always be in my heart... i love you.
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female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (29 March 2015):
*hugs you*
I had to put my beloved dog of 18 years down a few months back and the day I did it I was wracked by guilt and grief. Questions swirled through my head. Did I do the right thing? Humans don't get the plug pulled on them after they get ill either do they? Etc.
But you know, you did the best you could. Your kitty is better off this way. Expensive procedures do not guarantee health. You loved him and that's good enough.
And yes, you'll continue to feel bad for a while. Took me 3 days not to turn into a blubbering mess by just the mention of my dog. It probably took me a week to finally make peace with it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2015): I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved Romeo, especially when your time together was so short. Unfortunately as pet owners sometimes we have to make tough decisions that are ultimately best for them although heartbreaking for us. Please be assured you did the right thing by relieving him of any further pain and suffering. Subjecting him to invasive medical treatment that may not have helped him would have only made him more miserable. Sad reality is that like human life, animal life can be unfair and some of us are fated to the misfortune of meeting untimely ends. Given the circumstances you need time to grieve, but hopefully eventually you will be able to focus less on his passing and more on cherishing your time together.When I had to make a similar decision a few years ago I took comfort in the knowledge that my cat had lived each day of her life to the fullest and had no regrets at the end, and I sincerely believe we will be together again someday. You can best honor Romeo's memory by taking the lessons he taught you to heart and applying them as you go on in life. I will be making a donation to my local shelter in Romeo's memory so his spirit will live on by helping other cats find loving homes.Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, Galahiel +, writes (27 March 2015):
Galahiel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to everyone that is trying to help. Day two: I thought i'd feel better... but i was wrong! Woke up and started to cry... I miss him so much. Can't stop of thinking of all the little things that he did that would make me smile... now i just burst into tears.The guilt is still there. Even though i know i took the right decision so that he wouldn't suffer... I can't stop thinking that maybe HE wanted to live... who am i to decide for him? I keep playing the what if game.. what if it wasn't so serious after all, what if i had waited another week.. maybe he would have gotten better... what if ... He was so young and full of life.. why did he have to leave now? I didn't have enough time with him.. I wish i had played with him more, cuddled him more and now i can't. this is so frustrating and it hurts so much.When i say that couldn't afford treatment for him its because it would have been around 1500$ and even if they would have done all the exams they don't know if they could have saved him.
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A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (26 March 2015):
im very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved cat. I am a cat lover and have 3 cats, I can only imagine how you feel right now. As the other posters have said, you did the right thing and you did it out of love because you saved your cat more pain and suffering by bringing him to the vet.
I suggest you do some good deed in memory of Romeo. This could be something small, like making a donation to an animal charity, volunteering with such a charity, or feeding some stray cats in your local area. It might give you some small comfort, apart from that dont be hard on yourself. Perhaps frame a favourite photo of Romeo, or make a memory box of his possessions such as his blanket or toys. You could get a shoebox and wrap it in wrapping paper.
Feel free to update us/comment, I would like to know how you get on. Best wishes and sympathies x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2015): Remember the goodtimes with your pet and be glad he had a nice life with you right till the end and died in a safe place with you by his side. Which a lot of animals don't get. I've had many dogs cats and horses and they all have shorter lives than us and will die.its part of owning a pet.it is a horrible and I have cried many tears over losing pets and the only thing that makes you feel better is time. I had 2 rescue cats they lived long lives, one died in her sleep I found her in the garden. She was so special to me I still miss her now years later. Her brother got very ill and had to be put to sleep, like you I held him as he died. I did not want him to be alone. I can look back now and remember what a great addition to the family he was. Maybe get a nice picture framed of your cat or something as a tribute to him?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2015): You've done one of the hardest things, many of us love our pets and consider them very much part of the family.
Nothing will fill that void right now. Please don't fill guilty, even if you had money to begin some sort of treatment - would that really have been for the best? Your beautiful cat was very ill, and too often people prolong their pets lives purely because they can't bear to let them go, but you let your little baby go pain free and in your loving arms. I did the same for mine. It was awful, I cried, I grieved like a person had gone. I had my cat from the age of 4 and she came home in my arms and she went in my arms when she was too poorly to carry on.
Let yourself cry and allow yourself to go through those emotions because that is how you heal. Some people find great comfort in, once they're ready, adopting another pet. Going to a rescue centre and giving an animal a chance, when they have been abandoned or unwanted, is a way of giving out some love again. It will never replace your pet, but it allows you to feel that love again and save an animal from an uncertain future. You're obviously a loving owner and it would be a shame for other animals to not benefit from your caring nature.
You did a selfless thing, and your beloved cat is no longer suffering or in pain and they had your love until the end. Once the grief passes you will realise that your choice come from a place of love, and there's nothing to feel bad about xx
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A
female
reader, Galahiel +, writes (26 March 2015):
Galahiel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso what makes this even harder is that he was only 8 months old... i did not have enough time with him :( He was the best kitty i could have ever asked for...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 March 2015):
 Loving a pet is nothing wrong, they are for many of us part of the family.
You have to remember that what you did was the RIGHT choice. Yes maybe he could have lived a little longer, but he would have been in pain and misery.
I had a Bunny for 16 years, tough and lovely little bugger, I had a horse for 10 and a cat for 14. Bunny got such bad arthritis that he couldn't move or keep himself clean, my horse died of a heart-attack and my cat got shot by an idiot HUMAN being.
Know that he had a GREAT life with you, gave you comfort and TOOK comfort from you. Unfortunately pets don't love as long as we do, but they DO give a lot of joy.
It's OK to mourn the cat, friend and family member you lost.
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female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (26 March 2015):
Dear OP,
I am so sorry for your loss.
I used to have cats and I still have guinea pigs, and I will go through a similar situation very soon, because one of my piggies is very sick and there's no treatment to cure it.
You did the kitty a favour not letting it suffer and it's a beautiful thing it could fall asleep in your arms. Even if, with a lot of money, there would have been another treatment, you don't know if your cat could have been cured. You saved it a lot of pain. more than once, I also coouldn't cure my pets (I've had animals for almost all my life). I dragged them to the vet once, twice, three times.. sometimes we just can't help. It's so frustrating and makes you feel ultimately helpless.
Medicine doesn't have all the solutions, sickness and death are a reality of life. Sooner or later, we will all experience it.
My advice would be to reach out to people around you. Don't stay home alone all the time. Also, maybe you want to keep one or two memories from Romeo, but it's better to put away his favourite blanket and other things that remind you of him for the moment.
Also, is there anything that could help yourself financially? Because, I suppose if you can't afford treatment for your cat, there are other things you can't afford either? How about your healthcare, is everything okay there?
A big hug!
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