A
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hello, I have a big problem and this seems the right place to get some advice. Well my boyfriend's brother has got his girlfriend pregnant and now his mum is trying to keep my boyfriend from staying around mine. I respect her views because being pregnant at my age would be the worst thing that can happen for all of us, but we are always very careful and use two forms af contraception (i am on the pill and we always use a condom). I know the latter is not always effective but with the pill as well i feel we are as safe as we can be. I have never met my boyfriend's parents but is there any way i can get them to trust us as i feel we are really responsible and play safe.Thanks in advance x
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi everyone, well there is some good news. I told my boyfriend the concerns about his mum not trusting me and how if i don't meet her i can't really change her mind and he spoke to her. She has now relaxed on keeping him from staying around mine, i just have to wait for the right time to meet her now :)
Thank you all sooo much for your help!
A
male
reader, gram +, writes (10 May 2008):
oh hello ok u havent met the parents and he doesnt really want you to. sooo GROWING reader has some good points.or you can just ask him that' i want us to work, so when your comfortable for me to meet your parents lets do it,i dont care if your mum will ask lots of questions,i would still love to meet her' but remember the one who asks the questions controls the conversation.so when u do meet the mum, try asking the questions so you can control the conversation.one thing though is if yr boyfriend is shy or quiet he needs to be led. so say something like 'we r going to meet your mum today,lets go get ready.yr bf sounds a bit like me,i could be wrong but he sounds like a worrier,hes worrying about yr mum asking questions, you need to lead your bf and make some decisions for him.its ok i dont think it will feel forceful towards him.yr young, so if he insists in not letting you meet the parents just let it go,its not worth arguing about,but relax you will meet them in all good time if u dont do anything that we have suggest.enjoy yourself and would love to hear how everything goes
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A
female
reader, growing +, writes (8 May 2008):
Ask him if he can introduce you as his frd or colleague??probably this will do or if you have enuff of time in your hand then why not go with movie scripts??i mean your bf can accompany his mom for shopping and you too come at the same time there and pretend as if its a coincidence and greet each other then naturally he has to introduce you to his mom(basic etiquettes) and that is how you can meet her for the first time.
i hope you have done some plays in school.lol!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the great advice guys. The thing is though i don't think my boyfriend wants me to meet his parents (mum especially) I have asked him why and he says because she will ask loads of questions and things. I do not mind this and i would like to gain her trust. OK i will have nerves and stuff which is normal but i do want to meet her.
How would i approch the subject with my boyfriend do you think? I don't want him to feel forced into letting me meet his parents
Thanks again!
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A
male
reader, gram +, writes (8 May 2008):
hi basicly you need to meet the mum,spend alot of time with her,do some girly things.go shopping with her or include her in some stuff like a dinner,just build a trusting relationship face to face with her.talk to her about what she likes,anything around her house just make positive comments and be encouraging towards her.people love encouragement and you will have her trust in no time.if u need any finer details just ask.take care
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A
female
reader, growing +, writes (8 May 2008):
There you are,you said you have never met his parents .Can you trust your brother's choice before actually meeting his gf?.no matter what all rosy picture he creates in front of you,you will still have some doubts about her for the fair reason that you never actualy met her.we form our opinion regarding sum1,when we actually meet him personally and i think thats good that your meeting is still awaited so you have got the wild entry card in your hand as you are still having that ray of hope on meeting her.So now,meet her as yr boyfrd's frd or may be as gf whatever seems comfortable and make sure that you and his mom spend sometime together so that she will judge you and get a translucent image of you and the way you asked your question,if you talk to her with same sensible attitude then it will surely make things easy for you two.
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