A
male
age
30-35,
*3puremage1
writes:How do I meet new friends in my new school? Next year I am going to be in a new sixth form in the UK and it i completely different compared with my old school even though it is only 10 mins walk away. I will be a boarder in there which means I will live in there 24 hours and 7 days a week.To be honest, this school is not the top choice but less bad equals good so that is why I have chosen it. The only problem I have to face to is the racial segregation. There is an invisible wall between the British and the Chinese and I am a Chinese who has been in the UK for the past 5 years. I really don't appreciate that and there seems to be nothing I can do for that. On the induction day, the British people were surprised that I could speak fluent English and my social skills so they accept me into their circle which was assuring. However, they demanded me not to be too close with the rest of Chinese. This is difficult because all the Chinese are boarders and most of them will be living with me. Similarly, the Chinese was demanding me not be too close with the British because they would not truly regard me as a friend, which is something that I do not understand. In conclusion, I need some advise for me to get out of this dilemma when summer is over. I know this is not a relationship problem but I could only think of this is the only place I could look out for help. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, 83puremage1 +, writes (8 July 2011):
83puremage1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for everyone's advise. I have thought about standing in the middle too but it is seriously difficult and challenging to please both parties.
Anyway thanks for everyone's help.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2011): I'm sorry I can't offer any real advice. I am also starting sixth form. However, I have never been aware of this racial devide in our generation, I have tons of asain and white and black and mix raced friends, I don't give their race a second thought. I can't believe people thought you could'nt speak English O_O that's crazy man.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (7 July 2011):
 Pure Mage,
You are in a tough spot, right between both groups. You have enough experience to be in either. How you handle this is very much a test of your leadership potential. The others are immaturely demanding that you choose sides, when you know that the division is not healthy. Your job is to build bridges. You do not need to be friends with everyone. You should look first for those open minded enough to accept people from both groups. Soon you will have friends with ties in both communities. Your friends will become friendly to each other, and you will no longer be the only member in the bridge. The experience will give you skills and strengths for the future.
FA
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A
male
reader, wiseoldman +, writes (7 July 2011):
Years ago a Canadian born fellow of Chinese extraction with whom I was friends in school told me that some of the Chinese born students were calling him 'Banana', which meant he was yellow on the outside and white on the inside. It seems that your problem is that both groups of your classmates want to know where they stand with you, and you with them. They want to know exactly where your loyalties lie. The British probably have already jokingly stereotyped you as a mathematics genius with a black belt in Kung Fu, but because you speak fluent English have invited you into their 'club'. They probably also half-believe that the other Chinese students who are less fluent and therefore 'foreign' to them, turn into opium-smoking, traditionally dressed mandarins with very long fingernails and braided hair, when they, the British students, are not looking. And perhaps your own countrymen feel that you are attempting to turn into Prince Charles. Yours is the difficult position of being the ambassador between the two cultures, and diplomacy is not an easy thing. If you can manage to hold onto your integrity, and creat a position for yourself as a mediator between the two groups, being friendly with both but never completely part of either, by the end of your time in that school you will occupy a unique place, and have learned some very valuable skills which will stand you in very good stead whether you decide go intobusiness or the United Nations. Best of luck.
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