A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am getting to know a guy that requested my friendship online and I am trying to maintain my respect in the process.. what I mean by that is when I gave him my number he replied to my email through text and the reply was kind of on the "fresh" side ... I'm not a prude but I don't want to start getting txts in the middle of the nite talking about how we should get together that instance ... Don't get me wrong people , He seems like a good catch minus that text.. I just want to know how to nip it in the bud and not cross over from Potential Lady to Potential Piece of A**...
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female
reader, dr.2.be  +, writes (24 January 2010):
 I wouldn't respond to his texts when he sends you those "fresh" messages. By doing this, you will send out the message that you are not one of those women who give it up easily. After a few failed attempts to get your attention from these sexual texts, he will most likely stop. But when he texts you asking how your day was or how you did on a test or something then you can answer him back. Just make sure he knows that he has to work to get sex from you and your are not the type of woman who answers to booty calls.
A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love +, writes (24 January 2010):
The way u establish that level of respect is either one u dnt respond and he gets the hint or he dsnt. Or you tell him that you dnt hook up with random guys off the internet. I agree with the last poster about waiting awhile. I think waiting 6 mnths to provide a number as a girl is a good guidline. I have known this girl I met online for 3 years and she wudnt give me her number till we been tlkng for over a year.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow..ok its not like my "profile" has a pic of me with my a** hanging out dancing to the "stanky leg" people!! be real.. and I didn't say he was the "perfect" catch ..just a potential good one.. I've always heard that there are guys out there that test a girl to see how far she'd go .. and I'm just wonderin if this is a moment like that.. now here is an update tho.. after he texted me that, I told him that I had a busy day and that I'll talk to him another day... today tho I received an email telling me that he was kidding and then answered the original question I had which was " Are there any nice places to go dancing in this area that requires dressing nice?" ...his txt was "in my Bedroom" but in the email he gave me a little list to check out.. and said he was kidding bout what he had txt.. probably cuz I cut the txtn short after that.. Im all for flirtn and stuff like that but its too soon for any of that... I'm just worried he'll either try a stunt like that again to see what he can get or just give up all together.. which would suck cuz we do get into good conversations through email really well... IDK!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010): " well,, women who make friends with men on the internet are ONLY AFTER SEX! Especially when they give out their NUMBER!!"
OMG.. Sounds stupid doesn't IT ?? Well it's just as stupid as the argument you make that he's only after sex cause he responded to the number YOU GAVE HIM.....
UH,,, What part of rational logic is missing here ??
The other posters (all female so far) are convinced he's some PERV and only sniffing around for sex.
Well, may be,,AND maybe not! Absolutely not saying you should NOT be careful but he could very easily just being a guy that finds your qualities as a HUMAN and Female attractive.
Perhaps,,, next time think about NOT giving out your NUMBER before you feel ready might be appropriate ???
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (23 January 2010):
Ok. Fact number 1:
Guys who go round friends requesting girls on the internet, generally DO NOT have honourable intentions.
He may have requested friendship from 10 girls that day, and if you responded then he's going to think he has a chance.
You say he seems the perfect catch but is this because he's said all the right things? It's not hard to work out what things girls want to hear.
I think you have to judge him on his actions, and his actions state that he's only after sex.
There is no way that you are going to get respect from a guy who goes round looking for sex online. It's physically impossible.
I would be very very careful.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010): If a guy approaches you online for friendship, mostly he thinks you are a piece of A** anyway.
How would you react if someone you were considering dating in non-virtual world were to do this? Respond the same way.
I would not do anything at the time of the night but when I spoke to him next, I'd be cold about any references to that message. If he does not bring it up, let him know in one sentence that you were a little uncomfortable with the message. I am guessing both the time and the content hassled you.. So let him know in other ways that that is not the norm.
Even if he is the world's greatest catch, its okay to set bounadaries. Most guys respond well to direct instructions :)
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A
female
reader, Risingfromashes +, writes (23 January 2010):
Well, ask what he's getting at, let him know you really like him but that his text was suggestive that he is expecting something of you and that you need more time to know him before you will accept that kind of communication, but are flattered (if it's that kind of a thing...)! Good luck!
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