A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:In july 2007 i posted this question: My ex and I were best friends. We started dating in high school. Recently we were together for about four years, but my ex broke up with me to marry one of his ex-girlfriends. They have a baby on the way. However, my ex calls me after five months of being married to tell me that he misses me, needs me in his life, I am the only one he opens up too, he seems to get jealous about my new significant other in my life and he always tells me to call him often, but I won't call him at all. He says he wants us to go back as being best friends again, he even brings up about visting me soon. What should I do? Does he really just want to be friends again? Now, December 2, 2008, im posting this one: Me and my ex met up. during this time the new sgnificant other and i were having problems(i saw us going no where). anyhow, my ex and I started talking again(i miss him and love him), him and his wife were having problems too and wants a divorce, but not now.Keep things short, ex and I had sex/hung out and old fun memories came back.Meanwhile, we talk about stuff about what was unsaid about what happen to us, why did we break up and why he got married.he tells me that he loves me dearly(i know he does). He explains to me to wait!(he dosen't love her)him and his wife want be together long. I know thats a lie,because hes buying a house for them to live in soon in our hometown. he still has her program in his phone as baby, he still send her emails,and he has her pictures in his wallet.But he loves me!!! he still lies after all this time, and what we been through.this time has to be the last time I let him back in my life. He clearly has moved on so should i. I felt like he owed it to me and himself, to be honest. He tells me, he always wanted to be with me, because im the only one he pictures himself with. he compares his wife to me! what im trying to say is: im wrong to try to be with a married man,and he hasnt stop lying to me. what went wrong, i just miss him as being my best friend, he told me that we couldnt go back to being best friends because i can but he can't. i can't go back in my life , ever time he comes in it. It has to stop!!!!!!!!!!!! help me
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best friend, broke up, divorce, ex girlfriend, his ex, jealous, married man, my ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI changed my number. I havent spoken to him in almost a month but its very hard to let go of that person who i once knew and trusted. My BEST friend. He easily lied to me again. he'll come back around, i know he will try again. But he will realize that im not the same person either. I let go.... i dont wont to deal with this foolishness, his a huge liar. I Hope he remembers what goes around comes around. his gonna wish he never lied to me!!1
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008): I think you kinda messed up by getting sucked back in. He was really missing you and you should have left it that way. He wanted to know if he still had it after being married and settling down and has now proved that he does by getting you into bed with him. He has no intention of leaving his wife. of whom he is soon to buy a house with but. He is cheated on his wife and his child. How wrong is that?
He probably was sincere at the beginning but you should never have slept with him no matter how hard the temptation was. He has just managed to get his cake, the cake he thought he'd never taste again!! He had to deal with all the past demons that he was dealing with such as the unexplained break up. It has helped you both understanbd why you broke up in the first place but had kinda opened up pandoras box. Guess who will be left hurting???? .........YOU, as he has something to go back to whilst you will go back to having a broken heart.
Leave this situation whilst you can because I do not believe that it is going anywhere and you are worth morethat this.
Good luck and God Bless x
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A
female
reader, shiraz  +, writes (2 December 2008):
hiyah, i think after all this time evenyour begining to see for yourself this guy has no intentions of ending his marriage and is as they say 'havin his cake and eating it' its really hard for you but you need to be the bigger person and put an end to it. for your own sake and for your future. you ont have a future with this man and youve had possible guys that you could of had a future wth literally been packed off by him! why let it happen? love is a strong thing and i get we fall for the wrong ones but hun you really need to see it for what it is wothout falling any deeper, your the only one going to come out worse in this and its so unfair on you.
even if he 'allowed' you to be mates after i dont think you should, hes not marriage material, boyfriend material and after all this mates? i hope im not coming across to harsh but it seems to me youll be hurting while he has a two way thing, hes got options as well as the married settled family. and whether he likes it or not he needs to realise this sooner rather than later he has a child to support as well and yet hes acting like hes not got a care in the world. really is this that someone you want?
its really going to hurt like hell but you need to wake up and see it, you need to focus on your life and the changes you make. only you can put a fianl stop to this situation you constantly findng yourself in. learn from the past and make yourself a future.
best of luck i hope all goes well and youdo find that someone worthy, he is out there you just havent found him yet . xxx
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