A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This question is mainly for men but the ladies can chime in as well.If you meet a woman for the first time and have only 5 minutes to talk what will you ask or say to her that would leave an impression on her? I am asking this because I go to Speed Dating events where I get only 5 minutes with each woman. I find myself (and others) typically asking the same set of questions like - where are you from? hobbies? what do you do? etc..I want to talk some thing different and stand out from the crowd.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2019): Yes, the comment about how we can also 'chime in', was irritating. Probably because it came across as patronising. Just trying to help.I really think that if two people are going to be attracted to each other, that you could recite the alphabet and it wouldn't matter. I also think that if two people are not attracted to each other, then all the original, funny and interesting questions are not going to change that.I also think that someone who is trying to impress, shows just that and it's noticeable a mile away. It's also a turn off. My final think …. is that speed dating is relevant because it puts people who are interested in finding a date/a relationship, whatever, in the same room and you all get to speak to one another. You then wait to meet someone that you click with, no matter what questions are asked. If/when you meet her, all this theory will go out the window, because there will be no need for it. Good luck
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 January 2019):
 What is important to you in a partner? Because that can lead to questions where you are REALLY honestly looking for a person who you can see yourself having things in common with.
Things like,
Smoker/non-smoker? (for some being a smoker is a deal-breaker)
Drinker/ non-drinker? (same as above)
Active life style/ not so active? (again, same)
Pets?
Travelling? Where have they been? What is their favorite place that they would LOVE to go again?
Favorite movie/comedy/action etc. It can tell you what sense of humor they have or if they are into things YOU enjoy too.
Favorite books, if they read a lot or not.
Art? (if you are into that)
Mostly though BE presentable, be positive (don't talk about crazy exes or other negative subjects) LISTEN to what she says and answer TRUTHFULLY (not what you think she wants to hear), keep your eyes on her face (not her boobs), try and make her smile and make her comfortable, if you can. And DO NOT (FFS) sit and fidget with your phone, glass or whatever is on the table.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 January 2019):
 I would start with the mindset that you what you do in this life and your hobbies is what makes you interesting. You have to believe that you are impressive. So whatever comes out of your mouth is natural and comfortable. You would want to initiate the conversation first, introducing yourself then at the 2:30 mark, ask about her.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2019): I would ask her if she is after a serious relationship or not. What makes her angry and does she get upset quickly.What are the characteristics she would want in her man. What would she expect from her partner. Was her previous relationship a serious one and why did they break up. Does she have any kids. What are her views on sex before marriage. Also I would ask her about her health. To me these are important issues.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (13 January 2019):
 Yeah, I third (or fourth, by the time this gets posted?) that you asked MEN for advice on what WOMEN find interesting. See the problem? Men know what they do, not what women want to be asked from a woman's perspective.
I want to be asked things about travel, goals, what inspires me, films and TV shows, etc.
Smile and genuinely listen, giving her enough time to talk without interrupting.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2019): I'm not sure why you think men would provide a more applicable answer to this question, but I'll leave that aside. I would ask her what she is looking for in a partner/relationship. What are her non-negotiables. I would also ask what she enjoys doing in her free time. Those are important questions. Then if there is time you can move on to more relaxed questions - eg do you know any good jokes, if you were stuck on a desert island who or what would you want with you, etc
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 January 2019):
 I also have to react to why this is a question for men. Its women you try to impress, not men, right? So a womansanswer should be welcomed. I also agree with the other poster here. Ask about something you actually want to know, and formulate those questions before hand.
I would like to be asked: do you like animals/own any pets? Are you religious? Where have you always dreamed of travelling? Such questions can start off a good conversation. Of course after her answer, you must answer your own question too. Make it a dialogue, not an interrogation. And comment on her answers!!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (13 January 2019):
 Thank you for giving me permission to "chime in". You see how you got my back up straight away? You didn't even need 5 minutes! Already I am forming an opinion on why you need advice! I am saying all that tongue in cheek of course, but please take the point on board. It is so easy to make people dismiss you out of hand if they only have minutes to form an opinion about you. If you had come out with something like that on a speed dating "interview" with me, I would have crossed you off my list immediately and dismissed you as arrogant/clueless/thoughtless/an idiot. Scarily, you saw nothing wrong with writing that down so, I assume would have thought nothing wrong about saying it either.
As you only have 5 minute, you need to use them wisely. Don't ask things which are irrelevant or unimportant. Get a feel for what the lady sitting opposite you is like, what makes her tick. Where she's from, or what she does for a living are largely irrelevant and will have little bearing on a future relationship. You have plenty of time to find out mundane stuff like that IF you get a date.
May I suggest a few questions which come to mind which would impress ME if I was on the other side of the table to you (and I AM female so probably have a better general idea of what would impress women than your average guy does - no offence, guys!).
"What motivates you to get up on days when you are not working?"
"What is your passion?"
"What sets your heart racing with passion?"
"What makes you angry?"
"What are YOU looking for in a partner?"
"What would be your ideal first date?"
Ask questions which genuinely matter to YOU (not to other guys - you are all different) and LISTEN to the answers. There is little more off-putting than speaking to someone who does not appear to be listening but rather just waiting to jump in with another question. Make eye contact while she is talking, smile, nod in agreement, generally connect with her and make her feel like you are really listening and taking note of what she says.
In your shoes I would sit down and think honestly about what YOU are looking for in a partner. What would be a deal breaker for you? What would make YOU want to be in a relationship with someone? Remember, this 5 minute slot you have is not just about impressing the other party but also about YOU deciding if YOU want to get to know this person better.
That all said, a cautionary word of warning: given that the two of you only have 5 minutes and don't know each other beforehand, a lot of the impression you leave will focus on your appearance, shallow as that is, in which case you need to make sure you are well groomed, smartly dressed and smell nice.
Good luck.
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