A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 29, and have been working with this girl, 23 in my office for nigh on 14 months or so. She is the most beautiful girl ive ever seen. I noticed her straight away but didn't approach her for awhile so as to weigh up if she was genuine. We started chatting one day and i found her to not only be beautiful but funny, good hearted, easy to talk to and friendly. We started talking more and more til eventually we were car sharing to work, texting each other all the time (mostly just chattin about work, stupid stuff and now and again a bit of flirting). She has a the same sense of humour as me, we share similar tastes in films, we also share the same belief in that cheating is wrong. This is where the problem lies......she has a boyfriend who she has been with for 4 years now. Just recently she has been moaning about him a lot, the fact he don't pay her enougth attention, don't buy her presents etc and recently they very nearly split but she tells me she can't leave him as he has no-one else. i'm sure she loves him but i know she is not entirely happy. We share everything....in fact she tells me stuff that shes not told anyone before. I really want to tell her how i feel about her but don't want to lose her as a friend if she knocks me back cold. she can be very flirtacious which can be confusing but she admits thats just in her personality. She is defintely not the cheating type and i'm glad of that as i wouldn't want her to be like that. How to i show her that i can be the man for her? i know i could make her happy but i feel that she would never leave her boyfriend for the guilt of her abandoning him. but everytime she talks to me i find myself in awe of her. HELP ME PLEASE SOMEONE, HOW DO I SOLVE THIS. Any advice would be a help. Thank you all
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (23 December 2010):
 This sounds like an inevitable mess. She knows that you like her - I wouldn't worry about that. I'm sure you show it, even though you haven't said it.
The bottom line is:
She is off limits until they are 100% broken up. Easier said than done by me, I know, but you should really distance yourself. Stop car sharing to work, texting... this stuff is all trouble waiting to happen. You are falling for a girl who is not available. Do you really want to start a relationship with someone that you are "in awe" of in this sort of situation? If things are that bad with her boyfriend, she should break up with him! If you guys connect so well you deserve to start off on a better foot than this. Wait until her heart is free to love you openly.
Again, I'd keep your distance until she is single. Start moving on. You will show that you respect, honor and like her so much that you want an honest relationship. If it's not honest, it's not happening.
Good luck, sweet!
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