A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I got asked to homecoming by one of my friends today. I haven't really known her that long and I feel like she might have a crush on me, the problem is though, that I don't have a crush on her in return. She asked if I wanted to go, and I told her I would have to let her know what my schedule was first for that weekend. I wanted to say no in my head, but it was spur the of moment and I didn't want to hurt her feelings because she seemed like she was really excited of the possibility of me going with her. I love to dance and have fun, but it's my senior year and I didn't really want to spend it with someone I didn't have feelings for, but with maybe someone else. I know it would really, really make her happy if I call her and tell her "yes, I would like to go with you". I am really on the fence because I expected to spend homecoming with someone, just not them. I don't want to appear selfish in any way because she really is a nice person and I'd hate to be a jerk of a guy. There's plenty of those around already.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 August 2011):
 Why not be honest with her? Is there a "special" girl you are wanting to go with? If not, you could do worse... Like sitting at home or heck, going stag. If you think it may be awkward, go as a group of friends?
If you don't have any feeling for her, and you DO end up going with her, make sure she knows that the two of you are going as friends. Specially since she has a crush on you.
A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (29 August 2011):
I was in your shoes almost 30 years ago. Over the last year i tried but fail to add me on facebook, but she wont. I know what happen and i know she had it bad for me and i sort of like her. If i could redo it. Who knows what would had happen. You dont need to love someone to getc to know them. Love isnt instance.
I sound like an azz sometimes on here but i dought anyone has a bigger heart than me.
I would say yes, it just a dance not a wedding...lol. She may take it as a wedding.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (29 August 2011):
Hi there. Because I am Australian, I don't know what "Homecoming" actually is. Would you explain it to me please?
Is it to do with school? Is it an occasion where you celebrate and have a party and a meal? And the whole school goes, or at least all students from your year?
If it is kind of what I think it might be, is she asking you to be her date for the night then? I'm assuming this is what you are saying.
If you haven't got anything else planned, then say yes. You never know, you will proabably have a lovely time anyway.
There are going to be lots of other people there who you know and will be able to talk to throughout the evening, so it's not like you have to stay with her all night, is it? Is that what's expected on those nights?
How much time do you have before you have to make a decision? When is the event, is it the end of the school year, or is it in a matter of weeks?
I'm guessing that with these events, that everyone takes a partner. You probably don't have to if you don't want to, but mostly people do go in pairs. It's the normal thing to do, in other words. Would that be right?
As you haven't actually given her an answer as yet, just have a think about it over the next few days and see how you feel.
Just because you go to a function with a girl as your partner, doesn't mean you have to marry her. So don't go thinking that's how it works, because it's not. It's just going to a party for one single night.
You don't even have to follow it up with asking her out on a date the next week, if you don't want to. There's no obligation for that to happen. That's not how it works either.
You can go with her and be respectful to her and talk to her etc., and also during the night catch up with your own friends and chat with them, and this girl you go there with, will most likely do the same, with her friends.
Going to this night out with her, isn't set in cement, you know. It's just a night out, that's all. And nothing more than that.
Just supposing you decide against going with her, and no-one else turns up for you to go with, well then you might miss out on going altogether. So then you are missing out on what will almost certainly be a really great fun night! What a shame to miss it!
If you don't want to go with her and you don't find anyone else to go with, would you be prepared to go there alone? Or, is that just not the done thing?
The choice is up to you anyway.
If you go with this girl who asked you to partner her, then you are guaranteed of going, and having fun. However, if you don't, well then you might spend the night at home, alone and utterly miserable! You'd regret it, for sure.
The choice seems easy, as I see it.
Best wishes and enjoy the night. Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2011): Do you think there's a chance to go to homecoming with someone else? If not, why not go with this friend? Be very upfront with her that you'd love to go with her as friends, and then make a group ordeal out of it. Invite other mutual friends so you two are never alone. It's more fun to go to homecoming with friends than a crush, in my opinion, anyway.
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