A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I know this is a pretty ridiculous question but I’d really appreciate any answers. My brother got married last year and my sister-in-law is a really lovely person but she’s also very beautiful and very, very intelligent and I find her pretty intimidating. Whenever I go to their place, I always talk and play with her kids so I mostly manage to avoid having a conversation with her. I’m not an overly confident person and I’ve not really got any friends so I get a bit lost for words around her and end up making myself look like an idiot. But SIL has invited me out for a drink, just the two of us, away from the kids and my brother’s gone and told her I’ve said I’ll go. What on earth is there to talk about? I really can’t remember the last time I spent a long period of time with anybody except my brother. How do I stop myself saying stupid things and getting embarrassed around her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): have more confidence in yourself!tell her how it feels, i'm sure she'd be understanding!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): A drink with only the two of you sound like the best thing in this situation actually! She must have picked up that you are scared of talking to her, and she wishes to get to know you better and become friends.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): Thanks :) I know she's not out to intimidate me but she comes across as such a confident, almost perfect person, it’s hard to not be intimidated when I have self-esteem issues myself.
As far as me having co-workers and friends and a relationship myself, I prefer to keep to myself for various reasons. Probably not the best way to live life but it’s how I do it, which is why I have such issues with talking about ‘normal stuff’; I have no idea what that is. I don’t particularly take much interest in current affairs. I just work, swim and watch a lot of crime shows. Boring by most people’s standards but I’m ok with that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): I don't think you make yourself look like an idiot, your sister-in-law has offered you the hand of friendship, and invited you out for a drink, which means she wants to get to know you, take it go and relax, hopefully having a drink will help that. Hey you have one thing in common already you both love your brother, if all else fails talk about him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): Be up front with her. Tell her exactly how you see her and that it is slightly intimdating- I think it would be a bit flattering and most definatly clear up whatever confusion she is receiving from you.Talk about work, kids, relationships. Maybe she has something in mind she wants to talk about- she did after all ask you out for drinks.Maybe she just wants to get closer, being a part of your family and all now. =) Don't fret!
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 just talk about normal stuff shes your sister in law she will hopefull be apart of your familly for along time, you it might even just be easier to tell her the truth about how you feel your awkwardness around her may make her feel like you dont like her or something,if she knows how you feel im sure she will open up and you two will be much closer.
You say you have kno one to talk to but your brother, well if your age is correct, i would think you have coworkers some friends even in a relation ship or your own so whats going on with that?
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 Most beautiful women have self esteem issues as well. It's all a facade, a beautiful exterior but she probably longs for your friendship as well, that's why she invited you........she's hoping to bond with you. if she was pretty and stuck up she would act all high and mighty and not give you the time of day........that i would avoid but don't be intimidated by her just because she smart and pretty:(
talk to her about something that's going on in your life, something you saw on the news that you think might interest her, give her a chance you both sound really nice and should really try to bond especially since she's part of your family:)
good luck hun!
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