A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This question is about a friend of mine and a girl he really likes. Unfortunately, I am not qualified to help him out and therefore I need your help. So, this is the story:My friend is a student, just like myself. He met a relatively younger girl about 8 months ago and are closed friends ever since. They go out and do fun activities once or twice every week depending on their schedules.The girl is graduating from college this May and will probably move away but not more than 1.5 driving hrs away from us.Now, my friend really likes this girl. I know it because whenever he meets her, his mood hits the roof.Also, based on the stories he tells and the texts that she sends, she enjoys his company very much as well. So, in my opinion, they have chemistry and the conditions for a healthy and loving relationship is there.***I am not an expert in relationships, so this is where I need your help.***My friend wants to be in a relationship with her BUT DOESN'T WANT TO RUIN THEIR FRIENDSHIP BY TELLING HER OR MAKING A WRONG MOVE. His approach is indirect, as I think of it. He wants to kiss the girl, when the moment is right, and indirectly talk to her about his feelings and tell her how he feels.Now, in my opinion, since they have been friends for a long time, indirect approach may just seem as another friendly move. However, if he tells her directly how he feels, there is no doubt about what he wants and she has to decide whether she wants him as her boyfriend or not.So...Is it right for him to make a move and tell her directly how he feels about her or would that be TOO STRONG? Is it appropriate to tell her directly how he feels about her? For instance, can he tell her something similar to, "hey ---, we have been going out as friends for a while now and I really like you. Can we be more than just friends?" OR, maybe even to kiss her? Would you guide me through this? I really want to see my friend happy and I believe she truly makes her happy. (Not to mention that I will learn a valuable lesson too)ThanksThanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all of you
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (3 May 2011):
 My advice remains the same. Except now he can definitely go and say it with confidence.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, curiosity1103 +, writes (3 May 2011):
The heck with it. I say he should just kiss her then. Why not? Again, better do something about it now than always wonder what if... regret sucks- so I say go for it :) Let us know what happens though ;)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI forgot to mention an important fact:
Few weeks ago, my friend felt that she wanted to kiss him but he didn't realize it until after coming back home and thinking again about it. Do you have any comment on that? Does adding this new information change your earlier responses?
Thanks to both of you for your responses.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael +, writes (2 May 2011):
Your friend can do either. Just so long as he does not pressure her into saying anything. If he says something like "I really like you", it's fine as long he does not expect an almost instantaneous reply. If she says nothing, move on from the subject slowly and casually, make it a casual thing instead of an intense conversation, so she feels more comfortable. It's probable that she feels the same way as he does so, tell him he can go into this with confidence. It doesn't have to ruin their friendship as long as he doesn't persist if she says she doesn't feel the same.I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, curiosity1103 +, writes (2 May 2011):
Well, I think he should go for it and tell her how he feels. Maybe not just kiss her first- might send her the wrong message right off the bat, but tell her just straight up "hey I really like you." Yes I understand that can be hard- but anymore I am the type of girl myself who would not let the guy know straight up I like him first b/c I'm scared it might scare him away. But, still, I have had guys make their interest known, whom I was not interested in and we are still friends. Just let him know not to be to over the top about it.Or, if he is too extremely shy and you are his close friend- you could always let her know and judge her reaction. Again, because he's trying not to lose her as a friend- don't be too over the top about it b/c if she is not really into him that way it will freak her out.Either way, sounds like she should know sooner rather than later. And if she isn't interested she may just be flattered but stay friends. All else fails I think it's better to take a chance than to live always wondering "what if"Hoped this helped you both.
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