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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi, Okay so there is this girl at school and she hangs round in a group of 7 with her other mates, i get along really well with the other mates apart from one. Both of them hate me for something that happened in the past but it didnt even involve them, I just had an argument with my old best friend and now she joined their group, so they have something against me and its just no fair.I get several dodgy looks and nasty comments thrown in my face.Please, does anyone have any advice on how to beat these saddos so i can get on and enjoy my school life!? advice needed! xx
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male
reader, bfire  +, writes (29 June 2008):
Yeah, ignoring them can work. It is hard, you have to build a shell around yourself of steel, so that they can't harm you. They only do it because it affects you, once it doesn't you became much stronger than them and they fear you then run for someone else who is weaker.
You can laugh at yourself, but lets face it. It isn't funny! Most likely if you laugh they will see through it because you may feel awkward.
Since you are a girl, I know bullying is different than what I experienced from grade 8 to 10 in High School from guys.
Be nice to good people. These good people will be support. People like nice people because they like being treated well. You will gain more friends over time, and these bullies won't know what to do. Generally more people will like you than dislike you if you are genuinely a good person, but don't be a push over.
If they say nasty comments in your face, can you make a nasty smart comment back? Try not to pick apperance because these are not as sharp as something commenting on their attitude.
For example, if she always hangs out with her 7 friends and then picks on you by saying something. Say something, "Do you feel good about yourself or something? Walking around with your friends pretending to be tough." She will either say "oh whatever" make another smart comment, and walk away. This is proof it affected her. Or she may confront you verbally or physically. Be prepared for the last. Verbally you may have to out-do her. Best thing is to pick on her weakness, and that is probably confronting you alone. Turn to her friends, if they don't say anything. Say something like "why do you associate with with such an asshole?" If they all are in it together, say "is this how you have fun?" "what you say doesn't bother me because if this is how you have fun, your pretty pathetic." Turn the tables on them. See through their fake strength and power, and eventually your power becomes real.
If you actually get in a physical fight and there is no way around it. Try your best. Don't give up. Fight in front of people. If she calls you out, call her back out. Make sure people see you stand up. You may loose the fight, but you will probably feel better, and people will see you aren't weak and you can stand up for yourself.
If none of this works. Don't give her a thought. REALLY listen to me. Her and her friends aren't worth your time. They aren't worth thinking about. Enjoy school and realize that who you are is awesome because you have the strength to not let them bother you. Let them waste their time trying to bother you. :)
Hope this helps somehow.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2008): Adding to what Jeena said, when you laugh at yourself, make yourself believable, otherwise you will look pathetic and you will be made fun even more.
The best advise, as always, is to not care of what people say. A good way to say this is to only think about what you are and what you have. Think of how an amazing person you are. This way it will give you enough confidence to not care about what they say and they will indeed stop what they do.
Also, another thing you can do is to give smart snappy comments at them. I advise you, though, to only do this if you can actually make them, otherwise you will sound stupid and will be made fun even more.
The best advise, though, is to ignore them.
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A
female
reader, jeena knows101 +, writes (28 June 2008):
I think the best thing for u to do is ignore. When they throw a nasty comment about u just laugh along. If u cant laugh at urself once in a while then why r u laughing at all? I was hated for a few things in my past that didnt involve anyone mad at me. I got over it cuz when they made fun of me i maade fun of myself with them. I know every adu;t will say this but if u show that it doesnt hurt u then they will stop after a while. They get their pleasure out of makin u miserable. if it doesnt make u miserable then they will find someone else to hurt. Remember that
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A
female
reader, lotty83  +, writes (28 June 2008):
This is gona sound harsh hun, but there are idiots like this everywhere! Every school, work place etc. They are dumb for holding stuff from past that doesn't involve them. People that do things like this are actually very insecure, you may have heard that before, but it is true. I had hell at school when I was in year 7, and there were 2 bullies in year 11, so that gap was scary enough. Once i started to not give a damn they did move on to talk and start on someone else, and although that person then got the crap, I was out of it. Invest you time in people that are decent and good to you, you will rise wbove it and will put you in good stead for work place and the other fools in life. xx
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