A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I finished with my lover about a month ago because things weren't working out and i was feeling frustrated.I deleted his txts and didn't answer his phone calls.Anyway,i thought i was over him until i saw him the other day in town,i was in my car so he didn't see me.The problem was,when i laid eyes on him my stomach did somersaults and i felt a yearning for him.Why did i feel like this when i thought i was over him? Is there any tips i could have to make me get over him,even though it was me who dumped him?
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female
reader, Angel_A +, writes (10 September 2006):
 Ask yourself again why you left him? Was it just a blip or sudden anxiety about the relationship? When you pictured leaving him what did the future look like? what were you hopes and dreams that you were thinking of that didn't include him? did he just do something that made you unhappy/irritated/angry?
It may be that you realise now that you do love him and could make a go of things, but be sure before you start answering those calls/texts - something obviously led to you walking away and you need to confront that first?
xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know what you are saying and your right,the trouble is,he keeps txting me and phoning me but i dont answer.Its been very hard to ignore him because i still love him but how can i stop myself from contacting him?
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A
female
reader, Angel_A +, writes (10 September 2006):
Hi Anon
I'm not sure how long you were together, it doesn't sound like you lived together? anyway.... even if you make the decision that things aren't working it's NO less easier to come to terms with.
I split with my ex and I think it took me 2-3 years to get over it, we were together for 6-7 years and lived together, I pinned my future happiness on this guy and then it just turned sour. So even though I was the one that eventually said enough is enough, I still felt cheated, felt like I had lost all the dreams that I'd once had for our lives together.
It really is true that you go through a process of mourning, and that means remembering the good times more than the bad. I'm still occasionally in touch with my ex through text and email, and I too get that familiar tug in the stomach, but I know it's that tug of knowing that he was the man that was going to fulfil my dreams, but it wasn't meant to be.
I still feel sad about it even now some years later, but remember... you ended it for a reason, despite the happy times something was telling you that this relationship wasn't enough. It'll take longer than a month to get over him, just give yourself time and take your mind off him, get out and meet friends, enjoy being single.
Take care honey x
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