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female
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*n_agony
writes: About 4 months ago an old friend got a hold of me through one of those reunion websites and we talked or texted each other every day. Then we had our class reunion and we spent evedryday that I was back home together. He is a great guy and I truley have always loved him even though we went our seperate ways 12 years ago. Here is the dilemma we are both married with children and we both love our spouses. We have very clear ideas as to what we want in life and we are both totally confused and cant fight our feelings for each other. He tells me he needs me and loves me and thinks about me everyday. We talk everysingle day since we can't see each other.(we live 1500 miles apart) He wants to see me more and we are meeting for weekends here and there but what do these feelings mean are they healthy is it just the past hitting us or are we reading things into the situation that aren't really there. It is not about sex it is about the feelings we still hold for each other and what we are going to do aboutit. Help we are both way to confused and in love with 2 people at the same time. I know it is very frustrating for myself with the way I feel and I don't know what to do....any suggestions?
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female
reader, in_agony +, writes (14 September 2006):
in_agony is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice I told my husband about this thing with my old friend and he has made me see the error of my feeling. Whatever I still am in love with Andy and his 5 kids they were out here in virginia last week. His wife was not as understanding as my spouse. I guess we will se when we go to missouri next week. Lets keep our finers crossed
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2006): You think you love your husband, and he thinks he loves his wife. Don't mistake what you think from what you honestly feel. There is a certain obligatory connection between the married couples, especially when family life is supposedly very good. Considering you two still have these supposedly deep feelings for each other, it can very well be lust rather than absolute love.
Then again, if it IS absolute love, then reaccessing your current wants/needs should be granted. Mind you, it's quite obvious that if you two decide to be together, a divorce will break-up the families.
Would you go for self-sacrifice and preserve the good of the family, or would you sacrifice the family and go for the possible love of your life?
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