A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend and I have been dating for six months now and there has been no below the belt action. My boyfriend is very religious and is waiting for marriage to lose his virginity. While I am okay with not having sex with him, I do not plan on saving my virginity like he is (however, he doesn't know this!).I was wondering if it is possible for me to initiate some below the belt action without him freaking out or thinking I'm a hussy! And if it is okay, how do I go about getting things rolling? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2010): "While I am okay with not having sex with him, I do not plan on saving my virginity like he is (however, he doesn't know this!)."
Why the hell doesn't he know this?
He might not sleep with you partly because he has you built up in his mind as a girl that won't want to do it either. You might get more from him than you expected if you open up about how you really feel. If not then at least you both understand each other better for it.
If you think he would rather you play nice with him even though you would play naughty with another guy, you're crazy. I'm serious, that is a total perfect misunderstanding of men's feelings about this stuff. We ALWAYS want to be the guy that our girl got dirtiest with. End of story. If we don't want her to like being naughty with us yet, then it's because we don't want her to like getting naughty yet, period. If she liked getting naughty with other guys but not with us then it's pretty much the ultimate insult to our sexual desirability.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (17 November 2010):
Hi there. Has he actually said to you that he is keeping himself until marriage? Or, has someone else told you that?
In any case, as you have this knowledge, it's probably not a good idea to force yourself on him. He will lose respect for you. He might even end it.
I don't think you have any real option, but to sit down and talk to him about it.
At the age you both are, marriage is not going to be on either of your minds for at least another 7 to 8 years yet.
It's unlikely that you will be together by that time, as this is probably your first relationship. It's possible that you could be, but as you both change over the next 3 to 5 years, you could go in separate directions with your lives and then find you no longer have anything in common.
It really comes down to how much you like each other, and if you yourself, have a sense of wanting to be with him for a long time - and not just for now.
If you feel like this, and you do get along really well with each other, you might choose to wait too - for a while at least. But waiting till 25 years of age, is a very long time to wait.
Your relationship would have to be exceptional to wait that long.
You are just going to have to talk to him about it, and tell him how you feel. Just be totally honest with him when you do. There's nothing else for it really.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): If he wants tosave his virginity, something I personally think is stupid, then I'm afraid you have to respect what he is doing. If you kissed him passionately enough and held him close whilst he lay between your legs or something I don't see how he could not get turned on!!
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