A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my girlfriend for 2 years. I love her to bits but I've always had this fetish for her to wear lingerie like a a nice corset etc.Seems like no matter what approach I take, she just doesn't want to. I have no problems being naked but it would just rock my socks if she did.Any suggestions to make it happen?Thanks Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Karlos Omnis  +, writes (29 October 2007):
 The thing is, you've made the suggestion and she's said no. You love her so therefore you should be able to respect her choices, and in this case her choice not to wear lingerie for you.She knows that you desire this, and that's enough for the moment.Maybe when she's comfortable with the idea she'll do it in her own time.How do you feel about something if you're nagged about it?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): You mention a fetish - which I'm not saying is wrong - but maybe you need to 'package' (so to speak) your desires a little differently to help things along. Us girls are often sensitive souls and don't always want to feel like we're a replacement for a top shelf mag or anything so maybe ensure she knows that the corset (or similar) is about her and her alone. It needs to feel romantic, assured and safe because sometimes dressing up for a guy in this way can strangely make you feel vulnerable. When I got married on my wedding day I wore a basque, suspenders, lace stockings the full works underneath my beautiful dress. My husband did not drag me off to bed like an object of desire in fact he barely noticed. I did wonder at the time if he was gay? Anyway I was so disappointed and let down and hurt that it put me off bothering for the next 12 years and I resented the very idea thinking I obviously wasn't of interest in that way. When we finally separated I met a guy who became my long term boyfriend and who, after about 12 months of dating suggested I dress up as his secretary - he described what he liked and I could hardly wait because I knew I would enjoy it and be loved and made to feel special. We booked into a hotel and the whole time was dedicated to each other - it was amazing. Maybe you need to set the scene....?
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (29 October 2007):
 It sounds to me as if she's shy about her body and would feel embarrassed more than anything else to dress this way for you. She might also not have a clue about the kind of lingerie you'd like her to wear and doesn't want to buy anything in case it's too tacky or just not right for you. Why don't you buy her some lingerie as a gift? Give her lots of reassurance and tell her you love her (AND HER BODY) very much and seeing her wearing some sexy lingerie would just knock your socks off. Don't be shy or scared to tell her this.
If she is really keen on you then she should WANT to try to please you in this way. There's nothing "wrong" or "sordid" about your request, it's a perfectly natural thing for a red blooded man to ask of his woman. You could also ask her if there is anything she would like you to do for her in the bedroom. Discuss your likes and dislikes together, this will help you bond closer and it can be a turn on too.
Eve
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): Im afraid you cant make her if she doesnt want to.
One thing you could try is to buy her the item you would like to see her in. Have it gift wrapped ( la senza are fantastic.) Leave it on the end of her bed as a gift. Dont say anything about it, leave her to make the choice of whether to wear it or not.
x
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A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (29 October 2007):
 I'm sorry to say but she obviously just isnt comfortable enough with herself to show herself off in that fashion to you.
You just need to keep reassuring her just how beautiful she is. She may later realise that she has the body, so show it off. (To you that is!) If she isnt comfortable enough with herself, then she probably wouldnt want to wear that kind of stuff because she probably feels that she will look terrible in it. The daft thing is, that to you she would look absolutely gorgeous, but to her not being comfortable with herself, she isnt comfortable wearing lingerie like that.
Just reassure her that she is gorgeous to you. She may just surprise you one day when she is comfortable with herself!
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