A
female
age
41-50,
*arlye
writes:Dear Cupid,I had an affair with my co-manager who is happily married with two kids. Despite of being happy with his wife who was away from him as he was working overseas, he chose to have a relationship with me. Our secret affair was fantastic, the sex and everything. Until one day the issue went to his wife and he dont have choice but to leave me. As I dont want to end up our affair as i love him head over heal, I lied to him and told I'm pregnant. On the day that he left he held and kissed me and said he loves me and the baby.However, after he reached home he has completely changed and broke all his promises. he even told me to move on and forget him as he is married, but he will support the baby. there was a time when i called him on his phone and shouted at me by saying "fuck my wife is here with me". I cheated him but he deserve them all as now I realized he never loved me from the time we started our affair.Please shed some lights on how to forget him as until now I'm still thinking of him, despite of embarrassing me most of the time.
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male
reader, mulattoman  +, writes (5 March 2009):
 I agree 100% with the anonymous reply below. What more else is there to say besides call you a home wrecker?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009): No sympathy from me...
You took a man 'despite' knowing that he was married - and happily too by your own words. It was never right despite how you 'feel'. If I felt it was fantastic to murder someone it never makes murdering right. In fact it's our 'understanding' that keeps us fom enjoying murdering or any other kind of terrible deed. You clearly don't 'understand' what you did was wrong, because you only felt bad after finding out that he never loved you.
Don't say that you couldn't help it, that you couldn't help but be swept away, what utter crock IMO. How stupid is that? Imagine if every person in a relationship jumped at every potentially better partner they saw? People guard their feelings and keep it in control for reasons! The same applies to you, you foolishly allowed yourself to fall for a married man - yes, it was your fault to 'allow yourself' to fall for a married man just the same as anyone would allow themselves to commit murder or any other terrible deed! Just because 'love' is involved doesn't make it any less wrong.
Harsh? Yes. Necessary? Yes. Women tend to get blunt edge of the knife when it comes to cheating just because of the 'feelings' - demosntrated by the below posters. It's inconsiderate and selfish, what about thinking the poor wife who's husband is doing this behind her back, knowing that this terrible man is doing that to her and still sleeping with him regardless? The children who's father is betraying their family for? Any guilt yet? Or do you feel it now that you've just realised he doesn't love you?
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A
male
reader, Ted-ster +, writes (2 March 2009):
You were used, and taken for a ride. And, you knew it from the first kiss. This isn't a surprise... this is what one calls a consequence... and I know you must have seen it from a mile (a kilometer) away. Again, it never ceases to amaze me why good women make terrible choices about men. Why not get a good guy to meet? Instead of a married guy on a temporary assignment. Make better choices in the future. Move on. Find someone else. That will heal your heart.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009): I don't think you should be embarrassed. I think you should be pleased. I think you should be pleased you had the courage and the strength to love this man, regardless of circumstances.
Look inside yourself if you are glad of the time you spent with him, then be pleased and then find the strength to move on. If you aren't then you have no reason to be upset and can move on to.
Ok it ends painfully - there nearly always do. you aren't alone. So... the thing is its the head not the heart thats the problem. If you are thinking about him all the time - you need to get busy - do things, go out enjoy, talk to people. lying there thinking about it won't help you.
think of your ideal garden; the layout, the flowers everything. Think of anything but him.
Hugs Star.x.
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