A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HelloI have a problem basically with the inmaturity of my boyfriend, on his favor I have to say that he is the best guy I have ever met, he treat me like a princess, he does everything to please me, he is aware of my needs,I am his first real girlfriend, because he saids that before me, he was not interested in being with anyone, in general he goes out of his way to show me that he loves me, my only one problem with him is that he is too close to his family, don't get me wrong, I love his parents, spetially the mother, and they love me also, we get along really well, but he is 29 and still lives with them, he does have a very tough situation, because he is going to college and doesn't have a green card to work in this country so obviosly he can't affort to be on his own, because even when he is working, he gets pay way less because he doesn't have job authorization, he does pay for his college and for all his things, but I feel that even with his tough situation he doesn't want to get out of his home.On the other side, I am 27 and live on my own, I have a very good job, I am profetional, have a master degree, I can tell I am wealthy, and I am extremelly independient, I have move 3 times from one coutry to other one for work and college reasons, and I am foreing myself. In the relationship between myself and him, I don't have any problem with his family, they are all glad that my boyfriend have an stable relationship with me, and my boyfriend doesn't compare me with his mother or something like that. I just feel that he doesn't want to be on his own, which implies that he may never be ready for marriage or form a family. I honestly don't know what to do, I don't want to be 35 years old, still waiting for him to mature. I am very inlove with him, this is the most kindest guy that I have ever meet but I don't know what to do
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009): I read your tidbit on him but don't see where he is immature. You said yourself, he's in a tough situation. What more is there to it? If you cannot accept it, then move on.
This is an issue you're creating on your own. If you cannot accept him, then move on regardless that you love him.
For you, it seems that practicality outweighs idealism. It's seriously not a difficult thing to choose.
Alternatively, you can have a chat with him. Aren't all relationships supposed to equate to having open communication? Why aren't you talking to him about it?
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