A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Growing up I was poor and my 2 best friends were from rich families. It was hard for me, but I realized it was not my fault and it was not their accomplishment. Now, we have all finished the same university, have the same degree and have our first jobs. However, the amount of money they make is more than double of what I make! It just recently hit me, here I am, an adult and once again I am the poor one. Why is life so unfair? I just can't accept that even though we are now equal, again I am struggling, can't afford anything I want, while they don't know what to do with all the money. I feel so depressed and hopeless. How can I deal with this?
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best friend, depressed, money, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2011): I'm the OP. Yes , wiseoldman is right, one of them did get the job through a family connection, which is a whole other issue, don't even get me started on that. The other friend just got lucky like she always does. They both work for the government. All three of us have a degree in business.
Thank you everybody who answered.
A
male
reader, Red Green 0289  +, writes (9 September 2011):
It's possible that their upbringing gave them insight into how to pursue careers that paid better. Did you do all you could to insure that you choose a good profession that would pay you very well, or did you pick a lesser profession that pays poorly? This would not be their fault, or a random act of unfairness, but would be your fault.
Rather than sitting there upset that "the world's unfair", pick yourself up, take some personal responsibility and QUIT WAITING for the world to had you a prize. Roll up your sleeves and WORK to get ahead!
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A
male
reader, wiseoldman  +, writes (8 September 2011):
If they come from a wealthy background, it's very likely that your friends acquired their jobs through family connections. Plum jobs are rarely advertised, but rather are mentioned around and filled by those who happen to be within the social circle of the person offering the position.
Unfortunately this is the way it goes- as English diarist Samuel Pepys wrote in 1666, "How little merit doth prevail in this world, but only favour." However, if you manage to excel in your present position, you too may be mentioned when someone has a prime position to offer. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (8 September 2011):
 They say that money doesn't buy happiness, but it’s better to be miserable in a mansion than a cardboard box... Money, or the lack of it, can certainly be frustrating.
The good news is that you are still young and have lots of time to define your own path - congratulations on obtaining your degree, by the way!
You could ask your friends how they won these superior salaries and if they make any trade-off (work longer hours, for example). If it is a trade-off you’d be prepared to make, you can ask them for help or advice to improve your own position.
However, whatever you do decide to do, it is very important that you remember this – and this is “key-to-life-long-happiness-stuff” here:
Where ever you are in life, there will ALWAYS be someone who has more than you and someone else that has less. You MUST learn to measure your success by your own happiness; your own victories, and not by what other people have that you don't, or you will never be happy and will overlook the wonderful things that you do have.
Good luck! :-)
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