A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey.simple situation where I would like an insight on my emotions.I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half solid years. We are now living together. We have had our bumps and lows but we have always loved each other dearly. I love him and I have no doubt he is the world to me and will be that forever. I know I am also incapable of loving anyone else.Yet lately, I have been feeling attracted to co-worker. We talk a lot, and because of work, we see each other everyday and at times we just hang around for coffee. It is purely physical I think and I know that nothing could ever happen between us. Yet, at times I find myself thinking about him. I would like to understand why. And what can I do to stop this and at the same time keep the friendship.Thanks
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male
reader, Moonknight  +, writes (9 September 2011):
 You may meet alot of people in your life who you find attractive who you may like or want to get with, you have been with your boyfriend for a good 2 year and you are both comfortable and happy, don't act on any of those feelings of attraction.Some people spend a life time trying to find someone they can love and connect with and live with and get the same feelings back, none of those guys will do that like your boyfriend, and if your already happy then stick with your boy.It is totally normal to feel like this, sometimes you may flirt more than your suppose to and that too is normal, as long as you know when to draw the line because once the relationship has been broken by the addition of a 3rd, there is no going back, you can never recover from that.I want you to understand this and exactly what i am saying to you.I'm saying to you that it's the thought of attraction that is attracting and catching your attention, not the person who you are attracted to, if you replace that person with another the attraction would be the same it's not about the person, saying that, if you replaced your bf with another that's a big difference, why?Because there is more to your relationship than attraction, there is nothing more to the other guys you like than what you see.It's all normal, don't be spooked by it and throw away your relationship that you are happy with
A
male
reader, wiseoldman +, writes (8 September 2011):
Welcome to the uncertainty of being human. The greatest mistake we make in childhood or adolescence is to believe that everything magically sorts itself out by a certain age,and that we then become perfect, rational beings. A look at our parents will quickly convince us otherwise. Love and lust are two different things, and although you may believe that both are biddable and at your command, this is not the case,and indeed has been the main theme of every romantic novel ever since Sir Lancelot had an affair with King Arthur's wife Guinevere (tale collected by Sir Thomas Mallory and written down in 1485). You are attracted to someone else simply because you are human and find him attractive. We are not as monogamous as we might think we are, and had you not met your boyfriend, or perhaps met your crush first, HE would be the one you'd have found 'true love with'. Enjoy the feeling, which you certainly don't have to act on, and be thankful that we can love different people in our lives, because that means if a relationship cannot continue for one reason or another, we do have the capacity to find happiness with someone else.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2011): i think you need to re back your relationship with your boyfriend, talk with him much more, do new things and find special things between us.
i think, what you feel is, it sounds like you feel boring with time. so if u really love your boyfriend as i understood from your first words i your question, you should make yourself more close to him, go and say to him, i miss you so much(missing him it isn't mean that u don't seen him from along time but your heart and your feelings miss him and want to see him more close as he now)
thanks
i hope i made adding good
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