A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello all I need some help. My ex and I have been broken up for a year now and the road to recovery has been drastically different between the two of us. Ever since she ended things with me, she has a new boyfriend a few days after ending things with me, and whom she's engaged to now. She has a new house and new family as well as her mom moving close to her, which is something she had planned a long time. Seems like everything has turned out well with her decision in leaving me. On my part my life has just been awful. I still have no direction in my life. I can't imagine myself with another person because I still think about my ex everyday and it wouldn't be healthy to get into another relationship. I still make the same as I did last year and on top of that I still live in the place that I hate.I know that life is never fair, but with me lately and especially in this past year it seems that life is trying make me feel like a big fat loser. It hurts me deeply knowing that she didn't or doesn't care about me the way she does for that other person and makes me think those last few weeks that we were together were just lies. How do I get away from this feeling that the universe is just trying to hurt me badly? And how do I try and get my life to somewhere where I want it to be when the universe doesn't allow me to? And also how does one deal with this situation where your ex's life has gotten ten times better and your's is still stuck in a rut.
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female
reader, Fate100percent  +, writes (9 September 2011):
Well what sort of things do you like to do?
Do you like sport? Would you be interested in joining a gym, football team, swimming club etc?
Or you do like languages? Learning stuff at a night class? Photography etc?
Do you like animals, would/could you get a dog (great way to meet people by the way!!) Or would you like to do volunteer work at an animal rescue place, local hospital or something?
Just a few things I can think of off the top of my head! x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@fate100percent
Most of the info that I got from ex was through a mutual friend, it's been almost a year so I hear stuff about her once in a while.
Thanks all for the replies, anyone have any suggestions for hobbies or things to do to keep me busy in my spare time?
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A
female
reader, Fate100percent +, writes (9 September 2011):
How do you know all these things about your ex? If it is because you are still in contact with her, then it's obviously not helping you?Stop comparing her life with yours, we all do things, have good things happen to us at different times in our lives.If I feel down about my life, I try and think of all the people who are worse off, (there's will always be people better off than you, but there will also always be people worse off too).You don't have to get into a relationship with someone else yet either, but there is no harm in going out on a date or too ;-) It may help you take your focus off the ex?You are right, life isn't fair, it's how you deal with it I guess? Go out with your friends, try and do something you've never done before, join a new club/sports activity or whatever it takes to stop you thinking about her (and her life is probably not great,but you just perceive it to be so, because you're a bit fed up with yours at the mo :-(x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): First of all, you can't think that getting out there and meeting new people won't work just because you're not over your ex. Only you can change your situation, and whatever is thrown at you, you must make the best out of. Be happy for your ex and her new life. Go on some dates, focus on getting a new place, etc. This will preoccupy your time with other things than dwelling on the past, and if nothing else, you'll get a larger network of friends that will support you as you try to turn your life around. Who knows, you may just find someone you didn't even know you were looking for.
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