A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 19 and i am a virgin but my boyfriend and I have discussed it and we have both decided we are ready for sex and I am excited but also very worried because I have some concerns about my vaginaI have been fingered a couple of times and both people have said that I am tightI am worried about quite how tight I am...My questions are how tight is a normal vagina because I am very worried he won't be able to enter me. How many fingers should I b able to get up there in order to prove that an average sized penis should be able to enter mewe will probably not use lube as that's just not what my friends do so I doubt we willI am worried he will not be able to enter me and is that is the case i will be very embarasses and upset as I really want to do thisPlease help me!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): Tight is a description never have I had a girl that was not tight if you can put one finger in then that's too tight to even try two fingers is still really tight but makes for a really good fuck I prefer two to three finger because thats just great sex but if you are four fingers and still not touching all four side then your a slut lol have a good one
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): I had a girlfriend once who was very tight even though she had had sex before. Entering her without a lot of foreplay even though she was wet, was always very uncomforttable for her. So here is what I suggest; Have your boyfriend stimulate you to orgasm with his fingers or better, with a vibrator. It is a natural fot the vagina to relax and open up as it gets stimulated. Plus, you lubricate to the max. After orgasm, you are relaxed, open (as much as possible) and wet. At that point, penetration will be much easier. He will still have to go slowly when entering you but, it will be much easier. It worked for us! Enjoy!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): he will be able to enter- dont worry, tighter is better
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): Your vigina is perfect!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2010): Your vagina will be tight because your a virgin its perfectly normal.You should be able to get two fingers in but its gonna be tight and if it hurts to bad for him to put it in then i would stop.
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A
female
reader, Kelly Palmer  +, writes (12 October 2010):
Hey, although I don't support teen drinking that really helped me. I was really tight, and we tried sex a few times but it hurt too much trying to get penetration so we stopped a few times because he didn't want to hurt me... and one night I had a few drinks (which I dont usually do) just enough to loosen me up, not get drunk, and it was much better. He entered me with no pain, because I was almost numb, but I was still fully conscious and sharp and all....
That worked for me anyway, so we're going to keep trying that until I loosen up a bit more.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2008): i hade the same problem when i was was 18 before i first had sex with my bf i could never imagine anything ever fitting and when i first had sex it was unbelievably painful like i felt i was being torn appart i didnt bleed much but after doing it about 15 times over the last year thigns have really changed it still does feel a bit uncomfortable to the point where pleaseure isnt that good at all for me i dont feel and pleasure i jsut feel uncomfortable to me sex is more of a turn on than anything. I prefer oral sex and my bf also prefers it to sex as he doesnt feel anything either. he says he hates condoms and he blames them for tha lack of feeling but he says he doesnt want to get me pregnant so he doesnt want to have it without them.
But i am ok with the way things are and so is my bf we agree that it isnt that important and we dont mind doing other things instead since we enjoy them more and sex is just a turn on leading up to other things.
But dont worry
everything will be good in the end
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2008): Forget about it!
Use the lube and enjoy...
Your friends don't know what they are missing.
You can even get lube that warms up - enjoy!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2008): Ok i have a lot to say here....:) I know how u feel, i remember being there at one time. You sound young and inexperienced and thats not a bad thing. I just want to tell u some things i wish i had known then. First of all you should really feel like you can be open to your boyfriend about your concerns. For some guys, when their girl is being that open and trusting and vulnerable, is a turn on and makes both of you feel more at ease when you have sex and it's all the more intamate. Sex can either be mechanical or passionate. You want it to be passionate obviously, even if that passion doesn't last too long the first time. ;) I know many girls just do it "mechanically" the first time because there mind and body isn't fully ready, they are nervous and don't know "what" they're really supposed to feel like. And that is ok, but relaxing and being in the moment is key when not just being mechanical. I know you've heard that a lot so far and it is most important. You will enjoy it that way. Experience in how your body responds and what u like really is just more about experience and knowing yourself, and that obviously comes with the more you do it. If you have a strong bond and trust with your boyfriend, you'll have many chances to practice i'm sure. :) So i wouldn't expect too much, other than just to try and relax and be in the moment with him and it will be fine. I used to be so tight that even getting fingered was super painful. One of the first guys i slept with commented on how tight i was and i was self-concious about it too. I didn't feel like it was a compliment. But the truth is i was just nervous and wasn't really ready for it then. For girls like you and me, it's probably a good thing to loosen up a bit. I've known enough girls who had no pain at all there first times. Women are just different and that includes tightness before and after sex for the first time, and throughout your life. Just relax and be fully aware of opening up to your boyfriend. I always felt like there was a small baby going inside me for the first 3 sexual experiences i had, because i didn't know how to relax. And now the boyfriend i've been with for 2 years is very well endowed and it still hurts in the beginning of sex everytime,but i like it because it always gives way to feeling really good as well. I did bleed the first couple times i had sex and that may or may not happen to you. I'm sure you know about the hymen and all that and i don't need to say anymore on that issue. :) The important thing is, is that you really want to do this and share it with him and you can be open with him about all of this, if u can't u might want to wait for someone you can or until you trust him enough to be able to. As for using lube, no offense but it's kind of immature to say u won't use it because ur friends don't. If your getting sex education from the highschool virgins in the movie Superbad, maybe u are under the impression only old dried up grandmas use lube, but the truth is, even some of the wettest of us females use it and we are young, and i for one happen to be very enthusiastic about sex, so i don't need lube to please my man, we use it because it makes what nature made even better. ;) If it is painful for you to have sex now or in the future atleast in the beginning of sex, then unless u don't want to enjoy sex to the fullest, u should use it. Just as sexy as a man finds a tight vagina, he loves a wet one. And even sexier, he wants u to be enjoying it. They know when ur not. If a woman is nervous, as is many women there first time, u might not naturally get that wet. I find using it just a little helps it not hurt me in the beginning, which makes me naturally wetter very quickly. Thats sexy and enjoyable for both of us. It's all in preferance, but i think if you might be a little extra tight and it's not as easy for you to relax, it could really be helpful to making it feel better, atleast when u first start having sex. I never used it when i first started having sex and thats when i really should have. Now it's just more of a choice not a necessity. Having deep love and affection and emotional commitment with my boyfriend is why we have such good sexual experiences though. Sorry this is so long, but i felt compelled to mention all of this. I hope atleast something in it was helpful. Goodluck to you and your boyfriend. :)
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A
male
reader, FETSEA  +, writes (8 September 2008):
WHY THIS SUDDEN CONCERN? Tightness is as as tight a water leak seal. Remember the occasion, you held back urine until arriving at a toilet. On the other hand,visualise how the vagina opens up to deliver a child. On both occasions are muscles and tissues, directed by the mind to squeeze and hold or to "relax" and deliver. Tightness is self induced for fear of pain during penile penetration. On his mind, tightness is wanted for self gratifiscation.
Does not, tightness hurt him as well at time of entry. Then, it is that very tightness, that will satisfy both. So, relax and have good fore play; include oral; delay the need for penetration, let vaginal lubrication be at peak, and then the pleasure and duration of fusion, is yours.
v
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2008): You were born with a vagina, right? If so then it's normal :) First times are scarey (for both genders), but the most important thing would be to stop worrying about how you look/feel/perform and just go with the flow.
Guys often say women feel tight for much the same reason that women say men have large organs, so maybe that could also be something to be considered. If you're still worried and don't want to use a bought lubricant, then a) lots of foreplay and b) if he's covered in saliva then it's much the same as lubricant ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2008): I forgot to answer the headline question! Which is as follows:
If it's as tight as my first wife's, then it won't be tight at all. It'll be like waving his arm in a warm room.
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (5 September 2008):
 Waz is absolutely right about what you said...I spotted that comment too, and thought it was a bit of an immature statement...here it is again;
"we will probably not use lube as that's just not what my friends do so I doubt we will"...
That, my luv, is completely the wrong attitude to take, as the saying goes, 'if your friend's told you to jump off a bridge, would you?'
If the pair of you feel you are ready for full blown sex, then keep that intimacy between you and no one else, don't go sharing it. You should decide together what you think is best for both of you. I know this is all very new for you, but keep it private, because it's special.
BigSis
xXx
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all your answers so far guys!
youve really helped me and calmed my nerves
xx
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A
female
reader, SugarCookie  +, writes (5 September 2008):
Ok lube is not bad. I am a girl who is tight. I have only been with my fiance and he with me however even after 3 1/2 years of sex with him it is still uncomfortable to stretch to his size. I'm the kind of girl who you have to start with one finger and work your way to two.The lube helps create less friction on the inside and out and eliminates the pain. If you cant get him in without wanting to cry then it is a very good idea to have lube. It was made to help with friction and discomfort.I hope that helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2008): If these men have been telling you that you are tight I am sure they mean it as a compliment, it is a better sensation for them so I don't think you should worry!There was a really interesting programme called 'Designer Vaginas' on Channel 4 recently, about young women who have surgery to improve the tightness of their vagina, something that you are lucky enough to have naturally!Talk to your boyfriend about your concerns - I'm sure he will understand and be happy to reassure you.x
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A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (5 September 2008):
 Have loads of foreplay, as this will help you moisten up. Your vagina can push out a baby, so although it may uncomfortable the first few times, you most certainly will not be "too tight"
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (5 September 2008):
Lube is good, but if you find he is having trouble penetrating you ~ then I recommend you keep a tube of lube at hand.Like Uncle Phil says, if he gets you worked up during foreplay, you may find you'll self lubricate. So don't be too worried about it or you'll tense up and become tighter, just relax and let nature take it's course.If I may say, even at my age, I'm very tight, intercourse is always a little painful for me, but it's a pain I find most pleasurable, in fact, I love it. {So does the penis causing that pain.}: p You will get used to it in time...and once again ~ like Uncle P says, you'll wonder what on earth you were worried about.Lay back, relax and enjoy giving and receiving foreplay which will then lead up to full penetration...the rest will be heaven.Gonna be a perv now and ask you to come back and let us know how you got on.: )Have fun hun!BigSisxXx
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A
female
reader, nellynelly1305 +, writes (5 September 2008):
 Makes sure that you realy want to do it first and you are not being pushed into it. Theres absolutely nothing wrong with you, and vagina normally stretches, just tell your bf to be gentle, and yes please use lubricant or even better johnsons&johnsons baby oil (thats what I use a, Just because it feels much nicer, but i can asure you that most of the sexually active people use some sort of lub) Your tight vagina will drive your bf crazy,YOu should be happy about it, as men get much more arroused and horny when he;s inside you. THere's no reason for you to be embarrased or ashamed YOu ARE ABSOLUTELY NORMAL! But do use condom and lubricant (durex make some funky once that you can even eat)as without it, it will heart you and you dont want it to happen do you. Good luck! and have lots of fun!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2008): A little drop of K-Y jelly would certainly be helpful, but if you consider that a baby's head will one day pop out of it, you've no need to worry about something a tenth of that diameter going into it. It's a very elastic piece of equipment and although it might be uncomfortable the first few times there's plenty of give in it to allow a penis into it.
Make sure you're fully 'worked up' and you shouldn't have a problem. After you've done it once, you'll wonder what on earth you were worried about!
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