A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:(sorry bout the lenght of this question, but you need some backround info...)Okay, so I'm 15 and he's 18. (we dont live in the states, so its leagal to have a relationship with a person over 18 if u're under 18, so its not a problem leagally) Anyways. I know that he is attracted to me, and that he likes me. He even said that he likes the fact that he can talk to me in a whole different way that with other girls, that he doesn't need to say things in a sort of girl-suited way or plan he should put his thougts/feelings into words. That I can hadle the truth and that I get what he means, and that I dont get upset 'bout minor things. So, yesterday we were a bunch of ppl hanging out and we talked alot and sort of cuddled a bit, this was the first time we'd hung out outside of school, and talked for a longer time irl. (usually we talk on msn)and so when we were on or way back home, he said that it was a shame that we left the place we were at so late, cause otherwise we could've gone to his place and watched a movie. In any all of us went home and today i went on msn, and started talking to him. after a while he asked how I'd felt yesterday when we hung out. I sayd that I got happy being with him. But then he said that he'd felt that it didn't klick between us, which in my opintion is a lie since all vibes I've gotten(not only the ones I got yesterday) points in the other direction. His motivation for why that is was because he believes that the age difference is way too big. Thing is: I'd gotten it if it was about any other girl, but he's said it himself; I'm not like all the other girls my age. That I might aswell've been 18 too. But for some reason he hesitates and now he only want to be firends. (sure, its a good start, but I mean, its almost like that is as good as it gets) Another thing is that he's been seculating about us having a realtionship, and been saying that he's not into fucking around anymore. And that I shouldnt think that he is like that. That he wants a steady realtionship now. He's also been talking about it involving us in a very direct way. So I seriously dont get it. I find all of this really wierd because I told him that I was 15 when me met once at a party during this summer, and he also asked again when we started talking on msn, which was about 2 weeks ago. So I dont know why it suddenly struck him that it whouldnt work out. Cause this far I've proven the total opposit, and it didnt seem like he had that big of a problem with it before...So here I am now, don't know what to do, cause i really like him? plus, how the hell can I convince him(dont mean it in a way of forcing him) that this actually CAN work out? and that I'm serious about it and that I dont just screw aroud and hurt guys emotionally like other girls my age do.thx for taking time 2 read this and answering :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (21 October 2007):
 You can't. How simple of an answer. Have you ever looked at dating sites, not for yourself looking for a date, but seeing the wide variety of profiles? They ask you what age gap would you look for in a person to date. They range from 2-3 years all the way from 18 years old to 99 years old. You can choose anywhere in between. I may not be the fact that you're 15. It may be that he's looking for someone who's within 1-2 years difference.
The only thing I would recommend is just be his friend. Be a good, caring, kind friend. If it were to work out at some point, being a good friend gives you one foot in the door in the right direction. You can't convince someone other than being yourself, and not being fake.
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