A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok here goes me and my b/f love each other very much we are planning to get married in a couple weeks but he don't wont anymore kids but i do he has one who is 16 and i have one who is 5 he says he is to old which i don't think he is he is 35 but he says he is and i don't know what to do b/c i do want atleast one more kid some advice please i need help Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe did talk about it he wanted them but closer we get to the day he says he don't wont them anymore hes to old
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2007): You should certainly have talked about this before you got to this stage - whether you have more children is a serious issue that needs to be addressed as part of planning your future together, so I'm surprised he is only mentioning this to you now. You may not feel that he is too old, and of course he isn't, but if he is being clear about not wanting children then you need to respect his decision (even if he has left it rather late to tell you!). You certainly shouldn't be getting married in two weeks. He should have known that at your tender age, you would want more children, as I doubt that you wouldn't have even spoken about it before deciding to get married. I think you should postpone the wedding until you are both sure what you want. Don't be fooled into thinking you will be able to change his mind after you have married. You may have children together, but it will be you doing the pushing and him feeling resentful. Personally, I wouldn't dream of marrying someone who didn't want kids, if I wanted them. Whatever you decide to do in the future, marrying now isn't a wise idea. Good luck X
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (20 October 2007):
 This is something you need to resolve before you get married. Ask him if you think there's anything that might change his mind about having more kids because it's so important to you. Marriage is about compromise and one of you will have to back down about this but the person who does has to be willing to stick to their decision and not let it wreck the love between you. If you don't sort this out before you get married it'll lead to a build up of resentment that has the power to break you up all by itself.
CD
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