| A
female
,
*rksandeeks
writes: hi,my name is katie. i have a problem with my boyfriend and his closness with his sister. in the past he has told her stuff about our personal realsionship i was mad and we got over it. she calls him all the time asking a bunch of noisey questions. for her he'll drop anything and go do what she asked him to do, stuff he wont even do for me. when im at workk es at her house. which makes me mad ive told him before our realsionship isnt going in 3 ways ya know. lately she tried using me to babysit her kid and i had my b/f call up and say no which he was really hesistant to do for some reason! she made it a big deal and hung up! he claimed he yelled at her the next day which i know he didnt,he didnt even say anything about her trying to use me! 2 days ago was his birthday she called to say happy birthday and he was abnorally nice to her for some reason. i sometimes think that they might be doing something be hind my back. but i dont want to think about it! i have repeatedly told himt o do soemthing about it but all he does is ignore her calls when he knows im mad. what do i do i need someones advice. he just gets mad when i bring her up or say anything about her? please email me back and help!
View related questions:
at work Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2006): Firstly, if his sister asks you to babysit, don't put your boyfriend in the awkward spot of having to decline on your behalf. Make that call yourself.
Secondly, your boyfriend is in big trouble for spilling secrets to others. In future, avoid ambiguity by adding that certain things (which proabably need to be spelt out clearly if he can't read between the lines) stay in your relationship only. He may begin to pick up on it intuitively after a few choice examples, but be painfully clear with him until then.
But onto the bigger problem. It's always hard trying to get on with someone else's family, especially because you begin to rival them in importance (or at least you should) in your partner's life. Strange though it may seem, the best way to defuse a situation like this is to actually try and befriend the offending relative independent of your boyfriend. The both of you probably only meet when it's on the battlefield of your boyfriend/her brother, in which case the war is on for his affection. If you have time, try and spend a little with her apart from your boyfriend, and it'll likely smooth things over more in future. It can be hard at first, but it'll pay off so much in the long run, and that's what you're thinking about, right?
Good luck.
|
