A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a really great girl about 6 weeks ago. We get along great and we have been spending a lot of time together. She lives about 30 miles away from me and yet we still spend about 4 days per week together - Friday one of us goes to visit the other and stays through Monday. We have fooled around (made out) but we haven't had sex yet. She says she wants to. I do, too, but not unless it's in the context of a long-term relationship with her. We haven't really talked about that yet. There was another guy she was seeing casually at first (for maybe a month or two before she met me), but she broke things off with him completely about a month ago when he kept wondering why she was turning down his offers to go out and confronted her. They were not exclusive, but he wanted her to be and that's when she said she would rather be with me. During this short time together I feel that I have fallen in love with her. I have never felt this way before about anyone. I think she has strong feelings for me, too, although I can't be sure. I am excited to tell her how I feel, but I am a little worried that it's too soon. Is 6 weeks considered enough time that I won't be viewed as a freak? I mean, I know that if a girl told me she loved me after 1 date I would freak out and if she waited until we were together 2 years that's probably too long. What is the middle ground? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (28 November 2011):
You should talk to her and find out how she feels about you and whether you are in a relationship exclusively with one another. Explain to her that you see her as someone you would like to be in an exclusive relationship with, and see if she feels the same way.
Don't use the L-word unless you are certain she feels the same way.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 November 2011):
 I think you should hold back on telling her you love her for now. I mean you both aren't even officially together yet and she has just stopped seeing someone else not that long ago. It is great that you have found someone that you want to be with. But I think telling her this early on might not be the best of ideas. Tell her you have deep feelings for her and that you want her to be your girlfriend and see how she responds to that first before you decide about dropping the L word. Good luck and all the best.
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A
female
reader, Placebogirl  +, writes (27 November 2011):
 In my opinion there isn't really any a certain time after which too say 'I love you'. Every relationship and person is different. But i do agree after the first date it would be too soon!
Are you offically together yet?
If you feel it - you should say it. However as it is only 6 weeks into the relationship you should take some time to consider if you do really love her, or are just swept up in the excitement of the new relationship.
If you do decide to tell her you will have to consider the outcome that she may not feel the same just yet. In this situation it would be best to explain although you feel you are falling in love with her, you are happy for her to wait to say it, but you just wnated to let her know how you feel.
Good luck! :)
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