A
male
age
30-35,
*ca94
writes:hello. before i ask, I'll tell you about me. i'm 15 and a sophomore in high school. i'm like the nicest guy my the whole school pretty much. i've actually done my friends hw for them, that nice. i have an awsome sense of humor. i laugh at everything pretty much, unless it is something that is just stupid and immature. i 'm asking for advice for starting a relationship. my parents won't let me date until i'm 16 which i will be in a couple months. so i have never been in one before. thing is, i'm incredibly shy. talking to girls i like is something i can't really do. i feel uncomfortable talking to them because i normally don't and for some reason i get embarrassed. even with just saying hi is hard for me. Also i did some things in 8th grade that really didn't help me. so from then on almost every girl in my grade thought i was a perv. but i'm completely different now. i know how to act right, but they all still think the same thing about me. There is a girl in my choir class that i really like. i've been talking to her on facebook and she seems like the one for me. but we haven't ever talked in person at all. so here's my question. should we become good friends before i ask her out? cause like i don't know if we should like hang out at each others places first or what. i have no problem sharing my feelings with others. i made a made up facebook account and then i sent her a message saying that i liked her. and after that she added me as a friend. when i accepted the request, she commented on my status and one of my photos. her personality is like mine in many ways. but the thing is she's a freshman and i'm a sophomore. i don't know how others would think of that and i don't know any of her friends really. so can you help me out here? any comment at all i would greatly appreciate. thank you for taking the time to read this message.
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male
reader, dca94 +, writes (7 January 2010):
dca94 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks. i've started to that a little bit for a couple days. but i just wish i did this sooner because i only have next week and then we have mid-terms and my schedule completely changes so i wont be able to talk to her. i never see her in the hall except walking to our class.
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (6 January 2010):
the friendship first route is always the best for ANY relationship. Because you have to know someone first before you can decide if you want to date them. The other kids in your school are probably too busy with their own lives to worry about yours. So dont worry about them. You can't live your life for other people. Its probably better to date this girl because she doesnt know your 8th grade history. If all is going well after 5 dates then ask her out.
Remember, people think of you as you think of yourself. If you go around telling yourself in your head that you're shy and uncomfortable around girls, then that is all they see. Focus on your positive traits; you're obviously smart and nice and those are assets too. Just go for it. Have fun.
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A
male
reader, dca94 +, writes (6 January 2010):
dca94 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you. but do you think that others in her and my grade would treat me and/or her differently? many people at my school are just plain mean. like half my school people act that way. and also, how long do you think we should be friends before i ask? i know some strong friendships that went into relationships that didn't work. thank you for helping
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (6 January 2010):
 First try and find the courage to go talk to her. The way you described her I can't see that going badly. Just be yourself, she's probably nevous too since your the older guy. The age difference is only a year or two i assume which is perfectly natural. Actually girls tend to prefer older guys since the girls mature faster then most guys their own age. She sounds interested in you so invite her out for coffee, or something social not like a movie cause you won't get to know each other then. You don't even have to mention date. Or if your still really shy get a group of people to go with her being one of them then go on from there to spend one on one time with her.
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