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female
age
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*andy4
writes:Help! I'm devastated!I have told my story here several times. I'm the girl who met Mr. truck driver man at work.(Please read some of my posts from mid dec 09-jan 6, 10 for more info on the goings on with this issue). Here it is briefly. We've been flirting for about 2 months now, he gave me a christmas card, I gave him one. Our messages inside were almost written the same. I gave him my number and said to call me. I asked him to a New Years party and he gave me a pathetic excuse that he "sees" someone but barely gets together with this person and only talks to them every so often. I kinda figure it was just a story because our co-workers teased us so much and he was scared about what I wanted but he said he was very flattered but didn't do the New Years thing cuz he drives for a living. But Here's the thing. I am getting laid off now! How am I supposed to get to know this guy better? How do I even know if he still kept my number? This past Monday after he said no when I asked him out to a New Year's party last week he came in the office and was so attentive towards me. Opening doors, laughing and kidding with me looking at me, then turning away. I thought I had ruined the friendship the week earlier when I gave him my number and asked him out and he said no and he sorta "sees" someone, but this Monday, he was so happy to see me! I work on Sundays, he doesn't and he even asked me how the drive in to work was yesterday. He is thinking about me on his days off so thats a good thing! But now what to do? I'll probably never see him let alone get a chance to get to know him better. He is 50 and divorced and I can tell he wants to take things slow, this is why I'm devestated. I don't see him everyday so I don't even know if I will be able to say goodbye to him in person. Should I write him a letter and have my male coworker give it to him? Remember though when he gave me a christmas card he didn't want me to tell anyone cause he would be teased, but they teased us anyway! Which is why I thought the frienship was ruined last week, but like I said, this Monday was a whole different day with him. I suppose I can get his number (ask him?) or look it up in the yellow pages and just call him? (Stalkish?) Please help me guys! and girls. How can I keep this friendship alive now that I am leaving the only place that I see him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): Instead of thinking as this is so hurtful think of it that this man paid you a lot of attention and he clearly liked you and talking to you, but for what ever reason he isn't available to you, either through lack of interest or he is currently involved with someone else.
He didn't lead you on, he never asked you out, now he isn't using your phone number, he didn't lie to you or betray you so what do you really have to be hurt about?
Rejection of this sort happens to people every day, if we all let it hurt us we wouldn't get out of bed.
Brush it off, it was nothing and you really have projected
a lot of your wants and hopes onto this one man who has been elusive.
Let this be an indication that something in your life needs to change. Only you know what change is needed. Perhaps you need to get more involved in social things and try meeting a variety of men so that you don't get too attached too early to any one of them. That way you can choose who you want to go out with or get involved with and realize that you are an attractive lady to MANY men.
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female
reader, candy4 +, writes (9 January 2010):
candy4 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your answers, but I agree some and dissagree as well. Mr. Truck driver man did not go with his supposed friend that he is supposedly seeing on New Years, He told me he went to the corner bar with his brother even before I asked him how his new years was, so ok He probably does see someone occasionaly and likes it that way. I am gone now from the company (well sorta) I did leave him a note and sent it via interoffice envelope with his name on it. It was a casual note and I had several of my close friends read it before sending it. It was in no way needy or corny, just basically mentioned my number again and calling and hope that we can still stay in touch, that was it. I haven't heard from him yet and honestly I don't expect to, this company now has not completely let go of me yet as they (after I mailed the interoffice envelope) want me to stay on 2 days per week, but the two days I will continue to work, he doesn't usually come to the office, he will get to see the "new" girl who will be in my place on the days he does come in there. Well anyways, I do want to move on, but now that I will be there sorta, there is the chance I can still see him occasionally, I need to just move on, this is so hurtful to me, he just paid me so much attention to me in the past 4 months, I just have a hard time believing that this can't end up being what I feel it should of been? Why do women let themselves become so emotionally attached?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010): I just read your post and I completely understand how you feel. About 11 years ago I met a really nice guy who was a truck driver, we used to chat all the time and I looked forward to seeing him each day. I asked him if he was married or had a girlfriend and he said "no". Well after a while things got physical, nothing too heavy and after 6 months, when I was falling for him, he told me he was married with 2 young boys and a pet dog!!. I was really hurt, but conveniently ignored his confession until the day he left... then I was devestated.
I gave him my number on his last day and he called me once (I kind of think he regretted calling me). I never heard from him again.
Sounds to me like this guy is married or has a girlfriend. You simply provide him with a welcome distraction at work.
Don't write him a letter, just leave with your dignity and hope and pray he does not call you, cos he is BAD NEWS.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010): Hi,
I agree with Askoldersister. You sound like a very nice woman and I am sure that this truck driver fellow is flattered by the attention he gets from you and he probably does like you, but I don't know if it is in the way you want him to like you.
It probably is that he is seeing someone and want to remain faithful, he probably had a date with her New Years or truly doesn't celebrate.
The bottom line is he is a grown man, if he really was interested in you he would use that number you gave him and give you a call, that is a very clear signal, you didn't use smoke signals.
If at some point he is done with his current relationship or he wants to date you, he won't hesitate to track you down even if you are gone.
Your frequent sightings are not what is going to make that happen, he may just be more motivated now more than he would be knowing he can just chat with you when he sees you. Now he will HAVE to make an effort once you are gone.
This is a good thing not a bad one. And wouldn't you rather realize that this just isn't going to happen between the two of you instead of wasting your emotional energy on someone that for what ever reason is not interested in pursuing you....
I wish you luck and I hope you get out there and meet some men who want to take you out. You will.
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