A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a situation that I need advice handling. I'll try to summarize as best I can for sake of shortness. My wife has a friend. This friend of hers is a long term friend so they are somewhat attached to each other. Her friend has a long history of some sort of mental illness, i think its just extreme depression. The only thing keeping her sane is some pills she takes. She has multiple people in her immediate family who have the same problems, her sister is in a institution or facility of some sort for attempting suicide, extreme depression things of that nature. I slowly pieced things togther and told my wife not to try to keep helping her as she will need professional help. My wife, not listening to me, wanted to try to help her anyways. She has brought this woman into our home with our 3 year old child. We live in NJ, she moved away with me a year ago, but her and her friend lived in MN. My wife was thinking she could take away from her element, the bad household with her wierd family etc. my wifes friend acquired a large amount of money through a loan to get herself a new start. Without my knowing, my wife let her pay off 2 of our credit cards with a very substantial debt on it. She let her pay for a few other small things. Initially she brought her here to simply get a car and a place to live and a job and start a new life. She had made excuse after excuse to not get these things and sits around in our house all day obsessing over a particular celebrity. I gave my wife the "I told you so" speech about not letting this woman come into our lives like this, but the damage is done. And now... my wife calls me and tells me she is at our home alone and has taken a unhealthy amount of sleeping pills, not enough to actually do herself in, but receive the attention a person unstable like her would need. she is a danger to our household and I want her out and into a mental patient facility or something. What should I do? Try to get her to go back home? or put her in a place here? and will we be responsible for her if he keep her in NJ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): Old but very interesting post. Wondered what happened. Agony aunts certainly give good advice. I dont think its ever right to put the needs of adults ahead of children.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (7 October 2008):
 You are right to worry about having an unstable person in the same house with your three year old child. I would use the sleeping pill incident as a way of having her removed and placed into a facility. I would write off the debt as a learning experience and make sure that your wife realizes that she has to put your CHILD and You first. Decisions affecting your family should be made by the two of you both, together. She probably will breathe a sigh-of-relief at your taking the upper hand and getting her unstable friend out right now, however. Her heart was in the right place, but there are other ways to support friends without putting your family in possible harms way. Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, Bobarctor  +, writes (7 October 2008):
If she is a danger to her own health or that of others you need to get her taken into proper care.
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