A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in a mostly happy relationship with a guy a 3 years my junior. We are, more him than me, both virgins. He is religious and I am not, so he enjoys seeing and hearing me being pleasured as a means of sex. However, he seems to want it much more than I do and therefore, sometimes I find it hard to climax. There have been several occasions when I have. When I don't come, I feel disappointed as I know he hasn't been 'pleasured' and I didn't thoroughly enjoy it either. He tells me not to be sad as being with me is priority over sex, is he being honest? How should I feel when I don't climax? Please help, thank you.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 June 2011):
He's telling you the truth. I know, because on occasion my girlfriend has worried about the same thing as you, and I kept telling her the same thing your boyfriend is telling you now. Finally, someone else told my girlfriend she was sure I was being honest, and my girlfriend is happy and secure about it all now.
So, take it from a third person that he's being honest, and that he does prefer being with you over the sex!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 June 2011):
 not all women climax from intercourse.. i think from straight intercourse the percentage is only like 30%
I love being with my bf and when we make love it's not about the orgasm for me... it's about being close to him...
I never feel bad about not having an orgasm during sex... I can have one any time I like by myself..... don't need my man to satisfy me that way... from him however i get love and affection and kisses and cuddles.... those are the things that pleasure me...
my man gets very frustrated that he can't sexually satisfy me because I do not climax from straight intercourse and I can't get him to understand that I am satisfied....
how is your bf not being pleasured if you don't orgasm?
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (9 June 2011):
 Don't fret over it there are millions of women that never reach orgasm ever.
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A
female
reader, michnuggles  +, writes (9 June 2011):
 First things first, how can you both be virgins if you have already been "pleasured as a means of sex"???
Lets see, you are 22-25, you are still experimenting and finding out what pleasures each other.
You know what, the best thing to do is what most couples fail to do.. Its to communicate!
Next time you both feel the frisk coming on, lay or sit with each other. Start asking him what he does to please himself, ask him to show you, then have him take your hands and make him use your hands and fingers to manipulate what pleases him.
Then its his turn, tell him what pleasures you, we all know men are more into their eyes and ears so show him more visually what gets you going and makes you feel good. Relax, don’t be shy, its just you and him remember :) Take his hands and show him what you enjoy.
While you are showing each other, be as vocal as you feel, but NEVER fake it. When you are done, you are done, there is no need to keep going - orgasming at the same time doesn’t always happen!
While you are pleasing each other, keep talking to them in your cute voices, if they should move their hands or fingers to another spot, just move if for them.
You have no idea how much of a turn on it is to be actually taught what your lover enjoys. Truthfully, not anyone is alike. SO each time you can teach each other more.
Play safe.
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