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No sex, we talk about it but nothing changes!

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 June 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 10 June 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *ickyhope writes:

me and my man have been together for 6yrs we get on really well,i love him to bits. we have 2 children. the problem i have is we dont have sex hardly at all, which really gets me down, i have discussed this with him many times over the past 2yrs but nothing changes. i dont understand why coz he is only 30yrs and we never argue. is he cheating? please help

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A female reader, vickyhope United Kingdom +, writes (10 June 2011):

vickyhope is verified as being by the original poster of the question

having more children isn't a problem as i can't have anymore,thanks 4 commenting though!

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A female reader, michnuggles Ireland +, writes (9 June 2011):

michnuggles agony auntFrom a point of view whose experienced this, with millions of others in the world.

Take it from me, NEVER assume the worst, because that only makes you look the bad on in the end.

People change, people always change, and will never stop evolving. This includes physically. Maybe he is feeling a little self-cautious, about what you may ask? The biggest change in a woman’s body when she has gone through labour is the widening of her internals. Now you no doubt are perfectly healthy there, but after giving birth, a man can sometimes feel different when he is inside you.

You both need to talk and you need to be as sensitive as you can. It can be quite a shock for a man to have sex with his lover and she suddenly feels much different. Between you and, the man can feel like he has shrunk considerably. If this is the case, make sure you let him know this is not the case, and you can both work on it together. (plenty ideas online).

I know having babies can play havoc with a woman’s body and allot of the time she cannot find the energy or time to exercise, but trust me, its worth it! There is always time for your man that you love!

The other thing is, psychologically, where he just doesn’t feel loved. After-all, he is now third best in your life - and you cannot deny this! So why should he have sex with you? You have to reassure him that you love him no less and you still find him as attractive as the day you met!

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (9 June 2011):

olderthandirt agony auntCould be he wants to keep the size of the family as is?

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