A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:(long text, but it's so ridiculous it's actually easy to read -_- )She liked me since we first met. She even called me in the middle of the day just to say she loved me but out of the sudden she started to act crazy!She got very possessive with my boyfriend (he is 30 years old!), offending me (saying I'm trying to 'steal' her son) and even calling my mom an idiot (because the day they met she invited my mom for tea but she couldn't stay as she was very late to work. She didn't talk much BUT she was never disrespectful towards my MIL).Her main issue is that I sometimes don't pick up my phone when I'm with him (his phone broke, so he usually uses mine) - bear in mind my phone's battery sucks, sometimes it blacks out even if I charge him 30 minutes before. Also, we are both adults, so we need some alone time, privacy and freedom!Yesterday we spend the whole New Year's Eve with her. She doesn't like to go out so I missed a fun New Year party with my bf so that he could spend the midnight with her at home, even tho I had already bought a special outfit. We ate, laughed together, no problem. I went home on foot, because there were no transportation, so me and my bf walked 3.5miles at 2 am.Anyways, today. We went out (she knew where we're going) and I had my phone on my purse. We were on a bus and I got very nauseated, so I just fell asleep. When I got home and checked my phone, I had 5 missed calls from her. He called her back and I herd her SCREAMING. She actually came and waited for him at a train station near my house (she doesn't know exactly where I live, THANK GOD!) and he went to talk to her there. He walked out the door and an hour after she called me yelling, demanding that I NEVER again text or call her cellphone to contact my boyfriend and saying that she had forbidden him to use her phone to call me! And then hung up. I didn't even answer, as I was speechless.So now I don't know where my boyfriend is, but if I had to guess, I think he is arguing with her.Something like this has happened before. It ended with my boyfriend pushing his mom and she calling me everyday saying I was a mean b*tch and that I was kill her (massive emotional manipulation). Actually these other events made me scared to even go to her house yesterday, but my bf insisted and YESTERDAY she was being so very very nice.She basically now hates me AGAIN because I didn't pick up my phone. It's not like she even needed something, she just wanted to know where he was! He always helps her when she goes grocery shopping, but it's like she wants him to stay with her, when the whole thing she does all day is stay in bed smoking and watching TV!What should I do? My boyfriend stands up for me, but I'm honestly tired of this, I feel offended and I just don't want to see that woman again, EVEN if she starts being nice again!
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (2 January 2013):
 Quite a simple soultion for this situation - your boyfriend NEEDS to get a phone, ASAP!! It sounds like her main problem is getting hold of her son, she does sound like she has attachment issues and may well be overly controlling when her son is 30 years old, but that isnt for us or you to comment on. Their relationship is between them, and if you boyfriend doesnt stop her from being so controlling then he is clearly ok with it so there is not much to be done.
But him having a phone, so she can call him whenever she wants would solve the problem. She wouldnt have to rely on contacting you on your phone to get in touch with her son, so she couldnt ever blame you if she cant get hold of him.
Mobile phones are incredibly cheap so your boyfriend doesnt have any excuse, you can pick up a basic handset for under £20 and he can go 'pay as you go' so he can put a minimal amount of money on each month, however much he wants.
I honestly think this would solve your problems, ok she does sound a bit bonkers but a lot of mums are very possesive with their sons and it is nothing too out of the ordinary. As long as you are happy with your boyfriend and he sticks up with you, then I dont see any reason to get too worked up about this. Get your boyfriend to buy a phone and watch your problems melt away!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2013): well since you're not actually married to your boyfriend she isn't your mother-in-law (just sayin'...unless you ARE married and this boyfriend of yours is an affair partner, which I dont' think is what you meant).
your bf's mom has serious psychological and emotional issues. she may even have a personality disorder. You can't do anything because she's so unstable. no matter how much you tip toe around her she will still be unpredictable. the best thing to do is to avoid her as much as possible and have as little to do with her as you can. do not try to have any kind of relationship with her except as an acquaintance because she isn't capable of anything more.
...............................
|
