A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I started my new relationship with a guy who is 11 years older than me 3 days ago. I am 22 and he is 34. I like him but I think I am also paranoid. The days after we got together, he text me to ask me how I was doing. He didn't come to see me during the day because he went hiking with his guy friend. The same night, he came back at 10pm and came to visit me. We saw a movie together and talked and he went back home at 1:30am.The next day, he worked during the day and we had dinner together and he biked home at 10pm.Today, I text him to ask how he was doing. He said he was working at home and he would chat with me online. But I was studying in the library for the whole night so I didn't have time to chat to him. When I got home, I text him but i think he was already asleep.I like him and I miss him every hour. I want to walk hold his hand when walking on street. I really want to spend a lot of time with him but I don't want to be too demanding. I heard older men are less passionate in relationships. Is that true? Do you think he will dislike me if I show him how much I fancy him and I love to spend time with him? He has had over 10 gfs in his life so I am thinking maybe he cares less since he has experienced so much?How should I act so he won't dislike me?
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female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (22 April 2009):
 hun if you feel this way why not talk to him about it.
let him know how it makes you feel i mean he's not to know unless you just say you want a bit more affection like.
i mean relationships are a two way thing and if it's all one way then maybe it's not the right relationship for you.
but talk to him about it tell him or even ask him to spend the night at your place and stuff.
m,ake suggestions but definately talk to him about what you feel is going on because otherwise you'll not have much of a relationship as it'll be more on your side rather than both giving as good as you get really.
just tell him you feel its a one way street and you want it to be a two way street because you feel it's unfair that you ALWAYs call after an argument and stuff.
perhaps he doesn't even realise what he is doing half the time.pop me a message if you need to talk or anything keep me updated :)
anyways best of luck hun!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank everyone for your advice. I'd love to be myself but I am afraid "myself" is too clingy for him. It has only been 3 days since we got together and this relationship seems passionless and ancient. I'd love him to spend night at my place or I spend time at his place, just to sleep next to each other. I'd love him to call me every night before he goes to sleep but he is not initiating it and I don't want to suggest it myself. I'd love more kisses on my cheeks and I want him to adore me like a little girl but he is not doing that at all. In fact, he has this difficult personality that I have to be the person who calls after an argument.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): First of all, get rid of the mobile - stop texting each other, TALK on the phone - you will get to know him better by actually talking not texting.
He sounds like he is keen on you, but dont be clingy!
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (21 April 2009):
try not to be too paranoid because he will pick up on this and will feel pushed away from you.it's good you guys aren't always in eachothers pockets i mean if you were texting like hours on end it'd get to a point where he will feel sufforcated.i mean you both keep yourselves occupied and you understand about his job and he understands about your studies so really when you guys are together it should be all the more special because you've not heard from eachother much.you'll be fine honestly.just be yourself i mean he obviously likes you and stuff so just relax a bit stop being so paranoid becvause you'll doubt yourself so much it'll ruin the relationship.hope this helps. :)
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (21 April 2009):
Just be yourself!!
It's been 3 days and you both have your own lives.
He's probably thrilled that he's found a girl who has her own stuff and doesn't try and text him 19 times a day.
Don't try and ACT, just be you. When you next go out together then take his hand.
Older guys are not less passionate, they are just more mature and don't dash about wanting to dive straight into sex and marriage like a 19 year old.
Also, the fact he's had 10 girlfriends probably just means he knows what he likes, so if he's in a relationship with you then he must like you!
Above all, just relax.
Good Luck!! xx
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