A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am still very fond of an ex who cheated on me, It was sometime ago and I know things haven’t worked out for her with him and they never would.She has played games with me and I have I guess played games with her. I know now we can never be together and to be honest I don’t think I could risk the emotional rollercoaster again.She has managed to blame shift over the period of time. I have forgiven her because there is no point in not doing otherwise.We work in the same company and when we see each other it is all very strange.I have managed to gain my personal power back, and ultimately I want to say to her “its time to be friends” my view is if she accepts this great but if she doesn’t in my view it still makes me the better person.She has recently done some work for me and my thought was simply this to send an email to her (I don’t come across her that often) and say thank you for doing that work and I think its time to be friends.The question I pose is this, my aim is that this is for me not her. Will she see this as a sign of weakness is it worthwhile I am after views please.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): Question your own motives and ask yourself if you don't really want her back.
If you are absolutely sure, you could email her. But make it clear you are not getting back together, if she seems to want to be any more than friends.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (21 April 2009):
 I dont think that you would seem weak by sending her an email - you are work colleagues therefore it is important for you to try and maintain a friendly relationship so that you can work together without tension.
Seen as she has done a job for you there would be no harm in emailing her and thanking her for that, and then mentioning that for the sake of your working relationship you would like to be friends.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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