A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How on earth do you get over someone?This June, it will be a whole year since me and my exboyfriend split.I decided to leave the college I was at and went to one around 30 mins away to get a better education and when I was with him, I told him in advance specifically when i was going to leave and he didn't seem too bothered, despite being together for 2 years. Well, I don't know if he wasn't too bothered, but he didn't really give any feedback to what I was saying. I guess part of me just wanted him to tell me to stay and then I would've or maybe I wouldn't of but at least I would've known I was someone special in his life but he didn't say anything. He just let me go like the wimp he is and we've literally spoken once since I left. He'd heard from one of my friends that I missed him and asked me if it was true and I obviously said yes and he replied that he missed me too. This is the only thing he'd said that actually made me think he once cared for me. What is wrong with men?! He speaks to so many girls on Facebook and puts xxx's on the end of everything he says yet won't even start conversation with me. Is it wrong to love someone so much but hate them just as much? I just want to get over him ASAP. A whole year I've been feeling like this and quite frankly, I've had enough of feeling down because of him. I'm 30 mins away for goodness sake and I even work in the same town he lives in and he knows that but again, he just makes no effort. I feel going into his work place(it's a shop) and saying Hi is just going to be pointless and I'm scared he won't even be happy to see me. Please tell me what you think. Am I right to respond like this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): Thank you Candy61 for your respond, it was very helpful
Thanks
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011): CANDY61. This person's not stupid. They know they need to get over him so for you to repeat 'you need to get over him' is frustrating to read. This girl needs advice, not a freakin lecture.
In response to the question, keeping yourself busy will help. Anything to take your mind off him. It might also be worth deleting him from your contacts without obviously insulting him, so removing him as a friend on Facebook for example is one step too far as sooner or later he'll know about it but removing him on your phone could be a good start?
Only time will heal.
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A
female
reader, CANDY61  +, writes (14 March 2011):
I would think he doesn't want to see you because if he did he would make effort to see you because he knows how to contact you, he knows how you feel about him, he knows you miss him and its being a year, If I were you I would forget about him and focus on my education because you are young and have a lot of time to meet the right guy because some guys at that age are very immature.
Sounds like you got a good head on your shoulder, your going to school and working, dont let some wimp like him keep you depressed over a year because he's not worth it. I would find a male friend just to talk to to get over him.
You need to come to the realization that this guy does not want to be with you and move on with your life. Please dont let him take control of your life like that after a year. Make up in your mind that this is it because if you take him back he will hurt you again and again, doesn't seem like he care about your feelings. Maybe he wants to play around and then come back to you known you love him and your a nice young lady. Please get over him, he knows where you work and sometimes that distance love does not work.
God Bless You My Dear
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011): I feel your pain, but I have some advice that I think will be helpful... at least it worked for me...First, write yourself a check list of all the qualities he possessed that you didn't care for, or were considered bad qualities. Keep this list with you always so that when you're feeling sad or hurt - you can take it out to remind you why you deserve better! Then, make yourself as busy as ultimately possible. I'm talking making dinner plans on work nights with friends you haven't seen in awhile, joining a gym or taking a class at night after work where you will meet a new group of people. . . the trick is to be around people to build your confidence and you'll eventually meet new people from these new friends and so on and so forth. I live in New England, and lately I've been taking weekend trips when I can afford it to visit my friends in NYC. It's great because I never know where we'll end up, who I'll meet and the best part is that I'm away from ANYTHING that reminds me of him.I've noticed that when I'm busy, then I get to be reminded of the person that I am. She's fun, upbeat, driven and deserves the very best because she puts in the very best in life. But when I'm not busy, that's when my mind goes on overdrive, and I'll tend to think negatively about myself and the situation. The bottom line is that why would you want to be with a guy that isn't showing you interest in the way that you deserve. You have to believe that you deserve good things in life in order for you to receive them. Believe in yourself first, and eventually, it will attract the right kind of energy your way. Stay positive and you'll see the trail of positive energy that follows!!
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