A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I'm in a long distance relationship we have been together for about a month now, but as we are both students and she has heavy studys for uni right now we can't meet up till the summer, but I'm just wondering how often should I text her, as I dont want to sound too clingy but I dont want to sound like I dont want her, I can't ring her as she works during the day and then goes home to bed straight away after and then if she has time shes studying.How often should I text her? and besides how are you, hows you day been, hows studying, what you up to, what should I talk about? as I feel im asking the same questions and she is too. Any help pleasethanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you aswell
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (20 May 2011):
 I'm in a very serious LDR... once we got serious we got more routine to our contact... but in the beginning there was random texts... (he hates texting) but a few emails and almost no phone calls...NOW:I start his day with a morning phone call (at his request I call to wake him every work day)I end my day with a bedtime "tuck in" phone call to him we email some days many many emails some days not manythere are also a few texts and phone calls depending on the dayIF it was me and I was dating a new guy a "good morning have a great day thinking of you" text is nice... but if she doesn't respond don't send one every day until she's expecting it and then she'll say something like "missed my morning check in" if she's anything like me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2011): I have been in a long distance relationship between six and seven years. We started dating our senior year in high school and we have continued dating through college and graduate school. During college we were 2.5-4 hours apart, so occasional visits were not quite as difficult as it is for many. One of the first things we did was write letters to each other every week. Frankly, I believe text messages are impersonal. Pull out a pen and paper and put down your thoughts on paper. Receiving a written letter has much more meaning than a text message or an email.Another thing we did was to find a common show for us to watch. By watching a common show you have something else in common to discuss from time to time. Even with busy schedules, websites like hulu and netflix make something like this possible.Something else we did was to designate a certain amount of time each day for talking via the telephone. Generally, we would talk at the same time every night. Trust me, I understand how busy people can be in college, especially with different schedules. However, no matter how busy someone is, they will be able to set aside some amount of time every few days to talk on the phone if the relationship is something they value. Additionally, it is important to actually see each other from time to time if possible. This does not mean that one person always visits the other. This means that you take turns visiting each other. By taking turns you help split the cost of what might be expensive travel. My last suggestion would be to utilize something like Skype so you cannot only talk to each other, but actually see each other as well. Although we have not used this, I think it would certainly be better than talking over the phone.Overall, if you adopt similar practices you should not have too much of a problem with your long distance relationship. Of course, it is important that the two of you have a plan for what will happen after this long distance stage (i.e., there must be some end goal). To bring some reality to my situation, I am now engaged to the girl that I dated for so long. She has already moved closer to me and the plan is to move in together near where I am now once we are married. I wish you the best of luck!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 May 2011):
 Just be straight forward with her, tell her that you know she is busy at the moment and you dont want to be anoying her therefore just ask her straight out how often should you call or text her so that it can fit in with her life style. Am sure that she will be happy to answer and that she will be pleased that you care enough about her to notice that she is busy and you do not want to add anymore stress on to her life. As for not having anything to talk about, well if I am honest usually when two people are in a relationship it is because they get on well together and that they just clicked. I guess after being together for only a month you both shouldnt have ran out of things to talk about already. Are you sure that you and her are the perfect match for each other?
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A
female
reader, PrivateGirl +, writes (12 May 2011):
 I've been in this situation and I find that texting is so impersonal! It's very hard to get to know someone through text especially when it's long distant.
I recommend a phone call every two days to talk about everything that's going on in your life!
When you are busy it is hard to mantain but what's a ten minute convo?
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